The fact few Newcastle United fans are sorry to see the back of him speaks volumes for how his time at Newcastle United has come to be perceived, yet still Michael Owen has managed to emerge from the whole stinking mess smelling of roses.

If Owen, as expected, completes a free transfer move to Manchester United it will be one of the most remarkable pieces of transfer business since, erm, let me think, Newcastle signed him from Real Madrid for £16.5m four years ago.

You can say what you like about Niall Quinn - and most of it will be good - but he never misses a trick does he? He is affable and charming, of course, but those endearing qualities are only part of the package.

In launching Sunderland's bid to become a host city for the 2018 World Cup - should England get the nod from Fifa which is far from a formality - Quinn has once again shown he is not only ambitious, but also sharp and clinical when he needs to be.

While Newcastle may also be in the race to become a host city, you won't have heard much about it. In fact, have you heard anything from any of the other 14 cities hoping to impress the FA in the coming weeks? I haven't.

Strawberries, Pimms, yellow balls, carefully manicured grass courts, annual inquest into why Britain haven't produced a Wimbledon champion since Adolf Hitler was gearing up for the start of World War Two.

Like so many sports, we gave tennis to the world as a gift, a Victorian hobby passed on to the natives, and they took it from us and have taken great pleasure in being better than us at it ever since. For tennis, read football, cricket, boxing, rugby, and baseball (well it's basically rounders isn't it).

If anyone has been watching the excellent BBC Documentary Empire of cricket you will know exactly what I mean. At one stage or another over the last 50 years, a former colony has formed part of a new national identity by humiliating us in the sporting arena. But in tennis, the entire world has.

It has taken more than two weeks of frustrating delay tactics, but there might just be some light at the end of the tunnel regarding Alan Shearer's appointment as Newcastle United's manager.

Then again, we've been here before haven't we? We were supposed to be getting a decision back from the banks two weeks ago and then, nothing, diddly squat, just rumours, hushed briefings from sources and insiders.

This time, though, it does feel a little different. The takeover process appears to be gathering momentum judging by Derek Llambias comments in The Journal and Shearer himself has been told that is likely to be a big week in terms of both his and Newcastle United future.

It has not been the easiest of seasons for Durham, but they are starting to look like the team to beat again in the County Championship following their comprehensive destruction of Freddie Flintoff and Lancashire.

Well, at least they will be until the England selectors, having seen us go 2-0 down to Australia in the Ashes, decide to replace the injured Graham Onions with the in-form Stephen Harmison and Durham are left to get on with things the best they can.

There is no doubt that, with Onions and Harmison bowling in tandem, Durham are a frightening prospect for any county batsman trotting out to face them. They were, at times, unplayable against Lancashire.

So how many bankers does it take to sort out Alan Shearer's contract? It sounds like the start of a bad joke doesn't it? But this is no laughing matter, this is deadly, deadly serious.

Quite why we are still waiting for an answer is beyond me and, if anything, I'm being given the distinct impression Mike Ashley has no intention of appointing Shearer as manager.

Instead, the rotund businessman who has, despite his good intentions, made a complete and utter cock up of his time at St James's Park, decides to run away as soon as the real problems start following relegation. No feeling of responsibility, no intention of trying to right the wrong, just a rapid escape to lick his own self-inflicted wounds.

When it comes to Steve Bruce, Sunderland supporters should just be pleased they are getting a good manager rather than worrying about which team he supposedly supported four decades ago.

Steve Bruce is a Newcastle fan. Well he is when it suits him. Like when he is touting himself for the manager's job at St James's Park, but he didn't exactly shout it from the rooftops when he was playing for Manchester United did he?!

It is difficult to understand how, after more than a week of talks, Alan Shearer has still not been confirmed as Newcastle United's manager but at the end of a season of slowly unraveling farces we probably should have expected another one.

It looked like a no-brainer to me, even from the piazzas of Verona and Venice. Went Newcastle went down there was only one direction for the club to turn - towards the slightly balding former skipper who feels the club in his bones.

Shearer wants the job and Mike Ashley wanted to give it to him. It should have been wrapped up in a couple if stays. Instead, after a week of deadlock we are told Shearer's future will be decided by a bunch of bankers and we all know what that rhymes with.

The end is nigh, the finish line is in sight and a miserable, volatile season is drawing to a seismic, once-in-a-generation conclusion.

Will the sad story have an unexpectedly happy ending or will the end be as agonising as the build up to it.

The bottle is about to stop spinning, the roulette wheel is slowing down, but will it fall on red or black and white stripes. Fates are about to be decided, fortunes made or broken. It's not a time for the feint hearted.

The good news for Sunderland in this dark, relegation haunted time is Ellis Short has decided to take full control of the club no matter what division the Black Cats are in next season. Now that is a comforting thought.

The American's millions are like a warm, reassuring hug from your mum after a nightmare.

Whether his money is needed to help soften the financial disaster of relegation or fund another bold recruitment drive in the Premier League, he is, according to Niall Quinn, absolutely vital if the club is going to have any chance of realising its ambition.