How many times have you heard a football manager insist that he will not be making any panic buys, that he will not sign players just for the sake of it and that he is only interested in players who are better than what he has already got?
Big, bold words, which are then so often conveniently forgotten when teams have a rubbish start to the new season, the transfer window is coming to a close and managers take one final look at their squads and, well, panic!
What will they do if their centre forward's shin explodes, or their best centre back gets locked up for assaulting a police officer, or their expensive new winger's head comes off in a freak training ground accident?
Up and down the country there will be managers begging and pleading with the board to give them some more money.
"Hello Mr Chairman, it's your manager here, how's your wife. Great, anyway, I know I've said I'm happy with what I've got and young Smith is going to be one to watch this season, but is there any chance I can have £20m for Ashley Cole? It's a bargain it really is, honest.
"Yes, yes, I'm aware of the fact I've already spent my transfer budget and one of my new signings turns out to have a weight problem and the first touch of a bulldozer, but I've just been told by one of my Bulgarian contacts that there is a young lad playing in the Estonian Third Division who is going to be a World Beater, we simply must have him.
No, I've got to have him, please, please, please. Oh go on, I'll sulk, please, pretty please, I REALLY want him. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, I Love you. I won't ask for another thing, I promise....not until January anyway.
Or perhaps they go a little like this
"What do you mean you've just accepted an offer for our star centre forward/best young player? Oh great, you need the money, fine, but what am I supposed to do about it? And what do you think the fans will say, hmmmm?
"What do you mean you've already released a statement to the press saying it was my decision? Oh sugar (the language would obviously be more industrial, but this is a family website)
What do you want first, my resignation or, juding by the angry mob which has just circled my car, my head?
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