Football fans are a funny lot aren't they, always cracking jokes and revelling in a spot of gallows humour after their side has just conceded a third goal midway through the first half and all there is to look forward to is a 150 mile round trip home and some food at an over-priced service station.
Well it's either that or smash up the away end before invading the pitch to strangle a lumbering defender and nobody wants to see a return to those dark days of football hooliganism do they?
So, with that in mind, I thought I'd share a couple of wisecracks told to me by some well lubricated Newcastle fans who, like me, had needed some light entertainment after witnessing United's inability to break down a surprisingly resolute, albeit utterly un-ambitious, FK Ventispils side on Thursday night.
In case you need reminding, the 0-0 draw was enough to book Newcastle's place in the First Round of the Uefa Cup proper and apparently, I'm told, Middlesbrough fans can expect to see and hear plenty about them being at home watching the Bill on a Thursday night while the Magpies travel around the continent given their constant boasting last season.
Come to think of it, I thought the game on Thursday was the first round of the Uefa Cup, but it turns out that the Ventspils game was just a qualifying round for the first round proper which all seems a little strange to me given that the Magpies already had to qualify to play in the Uefa Cup by winning an Intertoto Cup match, but anyway.
I must stress, however, that while I may have sniggered at these, I do not share in any regional tribal loyalties. I am, as any good journalist should be, impartial and independent.
Anyway, here you go. Please feel free to add your own in the comments section.
What do you call a Middlesbrough fan in Europe? A flashback.
What do you call a Sunderland fan in Europe? A Mirage.
Is that the sound of tumble weed blowing across a deserted street I can hear?
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