England are going to win the European Championships, they are the best team in Europe by far, they have the best players, the best manager, the best assistant manager, the best kit, the best boots, the best corner flags... Put your money on them now, all you can spare, it’s a dead cert, England will rule the world again!
Erm, sorry, to be a party pooper, but England have just beaten Andorra, that’s right, Andorra, not Argentina. Yes, they scored five - ooohh, five whole goals - and they never looked in any trouble, but they were playing a bunch of part timers who would struggle in League One.
So lads, fantastic, well done, you’ve thumped a country with a population of just over 67,000 - roughly the same as a small English town - let’s get out the bunting, the flags, the commemoration plates and have a street party! Actually, no, let’s not.
Instead, let’s remember the World Cup and how the Golden Generation looked more like cheap market stall imitation bronze.
Let’s remember how we lost another penalty shoot-out, let’s remember how our Premiership stars were made to fall to earth in Gelsenkirchen and let’s remember the totally insipid football which characterised our displays and how Fifa declared us the most unattractive team to watch in the tournament.
If you’ll excuse me, I won’t be getting all excited about a 5-0 win over Andorra and confidently predicting that we can be champions of Europe in a little under two years time. Not when the embarrassment of Germany is still so fresh in the memory.
Do you think Scotland believe they are going win the European Championships just because their poor excuse for a national side beat the Faroe Islands 6-0?
A comprehensive victory over Andorra - and a 4-0 win over a half-interested Greece in a friendly - is a small step in the right direction, but that’s all. It does not herald the dawn of an exciting new era, it does not prove that the lessons of Germany have been learned and it does not convince me that we are suddenly the best team in Europe.
If it’s alright with everyone I’d prefer it if we were all a little more cautious and humble in our predictions - at least until we smash Croatia and Russia in qualifying. Then I will unwrap the England flag, the replica kits, the car stickers, the car flags and scream and shout about how wonderful we are!
Then I will start believing we can get beyond a quarter final, then I will belive our big name stars really are among the world’s best, then I will put my money where my mouth is.
And then I shall probably be let down all over again. Ho Hum!
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