Bond could feel the heat of the laser at it edged ever closer to the painful region between his legs and the trickle of sweat as it dripped off his forehead and on to the mahogany table in the gleaming Newcastle United boardroom.
Bond knew he was in trouble, the evidence against him did not look good and for once it did not seem likely that he would be able to talk himself out of trouble.
“Do you expect me to talk Goldfinger?� asked Bond as Goldfinger turned away from him and headed for the exit door.
“No Mr Bond, I Expect You To Die,� he replied, as he calmly tossed him his P45, opened the boardroom door and shut it firmly behind him.
Alright, so this conversation never took place at St James’s Park, it only ever took place in a fictional book and in a seminal action-adventure movie.
This is a figment of my imagination, nobody died or was hurt. Newcastle’s former assistant manager is called Kevin, not James and Freddie Shepherd is not an international terrorist like the fictional character in Ian Fleming’s famous spy series.
It’s just, what with the name Bond and with Shepherd sharing a passing resemblance to the actor Gert Fröbe who played Goldfinger in the 1964 movie, my rather vivid imagination got the better of me. I’m sorry.
Kevin Bond has become the first actual casualty of the BBC Panorama investigation into corruption ad bungs in football when Newcastle United terminated his contract on Monday. Bond was recorded by a BBC reporter talking about ......
I’m sure you would like me to have my say on what I think about all this. I would like to as well because it does all seem more than a little murky.
In fact, if you’ve ever seen a really muddy pond full of stagnant water, that’s how murky it is. But for legal reasons - the expression mine field and blowing my private bits into little pieces springs to mind - I have gagged myself, which isn’t easy I can tell you.
All I’ll say is that Bond has been sacked, presumably because of the Panorama programme and he’s not happy about it because he feels he has been sacked because of claims made in the programme - claims he insists are false and which he is taking the BBC to court for.
But please feel free to have your say.
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