Jermaine Jenas and Ruud Gullit have both described playing for Newcastle United as like living in a goldfish bowl, but perhaps that is why Titus Bramble feels so at home on Tyneside. After his moment of madness against Fulham some would say he has the attention span of a goldfish.
I'm probably in a minority at the moment, I actually feel a little sorry for Bramble after his late lapse in concentration - or abandonment of the principles of marking at a corner - led to Fulham's last-minute winner on Saturday.
He didn't mean to let everyone down and, if you look at the replays, he is only a whisker away from diverting the ball away from Brian McBride with his head before the American heads the ball back across goal for the agonising winner.
But these are the thin lines between success and failure - if the advertising men and women are to be believed perhaps he just didn't drink enough Lucozade Sport - and Titus will be feeling a little timid this morning.
Look, I know the kid is a little trying and I know we've all had to be far more patient than we should with a player who has all the ability needed to be a success and who can be outstanding for 89 minutes of a match and then throw it all away in 60 seconds, but I it could still suddenly click.
Maybe this is the boot up the backside he needs, although quite what will have happened to his confidence after Glenn Roeder issued such a harsh public dressing down after the game on Saturday remains to be seen.
But when Newcastle's manager - who according to former United boss Graeme Souness is now smack bang in the middle of a crisis at St James's Park because that is what you always get after two defeats with Newcastle - takes Titus aside in training this week I've got a few helpful tips for him.
If concentration is Titus' problem then all he needs are a few exercises and games to help him improve. So, a quick trawl through the internet has come up with these for the former Ipswich man to try.
We have the Dinosaur Concentration game, where players - er, mainly kids - have to look at pictures of dinosaurs with their names and then remember their names when they are shown just the pictures. Magic.
There is also the Elements Game - a bit trickier this one - players, mainly students who are probably busy searching the web for model essays to plagiarise - have to look at the symbols of the Elements and then match them to the right element. Perhaps we'd better ask Titus if he was any good at Science before we try this one, it's confused me like a centre forward dropping his shoulder.
And finally - there are plenty more but my head has started to hurt - there is pairs which is great because it can also be played with a conventional set of cards so when the rest of the squad are in their card school on long away trips, Titus can sit down the front with Glenn and play this. A pack of cards are laid out face down and then the players have to match pairs by turning cards over one at a time and remembering where they are. It's like snap, but with more concentration needed. Ideal!
Do you think I could get away with charging a consultancy fee for this?
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