An Unwanted Burden And A Mugging
It is quite an achievement to get mugged when you don't tend to move off the sofa and haven't left the house in almost a week, but I've still managed to become the victim of this most unpleasant of crimes.
You see, I already pay for Sky Television and I pay extra to watch Sky Sports, justified to my girlfriend as a vital tool of the job, but that still wasn't enough for me to gain access to coverage of Newcastle's drab 0-0 draw with Charlton Athletic on Saturday evening.
Oh no, I needed to stump up some more cash for that particular privilege and at £8 I wish I hadn't bothered!
For my hard-earned £8 I got to listen to Alan Curbishley sitting on a fence, desperately trying not to upset his former club Charlton while also trying not to annoy Newcastle United.
In fact, Curbishley managed to say virtually nothing of interest, praising Charlton's endeavour while also waxing lyrical about what a magnificent club Newcastle is, how great the fans are, how spectacular the stadium is, what talented players they have and how the city should have been named European Captital of Culture for 2008 rather than Liverpool.
Alright, I made the last bit up, but you couldn't help but suspect that Curbishley, who is looking for a new job after completing a six month break after resigning as manager of Charlton, already had one eye on a potential vacancy at St James's Park.
Anyway... Having splashed out my £8 I watched as Newcastle's performance gradually deteriorated. United began well, played some good passing football and dominated the first half.
The problem is they can't score goals and, as I have argued since the close of the transfer window, the squad is too light on numbers and quality to cope with even a minor injury crisis.
Bolstering a strike force with only the untried Obafemi Martins and a midfielder Antoine Sibierski always looked like a gamble and, with Newcastle's position at the bottom of the table worsening as a result of their failure to beat the Premiership's bottom club at the weekend, it looks an increasingly costly one.
Given Roeder's lack of options, Europe is looking like an unwanted burden at the moment, but as I said last week, the cups are the only things that are likely to save Newcastle's season.
Palermo are daunting Uefa Cup opposition, but at least a sunshine trip to Sicily will provide a welcome break from domestic depression.
Sadly, I will not be going. Nope, I'll be watching some more daytime television and playing a few more computer games. I'm quite good at Tiger Woods Golf now and I don't even play golf!
I've become so bored I've started watching Coronation Street and I'm even contemplating an evening watching the National Television Awards on Wednesday night, although my Sky subscription does at least mean I can watch the Champions League.
I don't have to pay extra for that either!
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Luke Edwards - is Chief Sports Writer of The Journal and uses his blog to give a unique and entertaining insight into events at Newcastle United and Sunderland.
Its alright Luke, the National Television Awards on Wednesday doesn’t clash with Anthea Turner perfect housewife, so you can lie back and enjoy Ant and Dec getting their customary bit of mantelpiece tat.
Perhaps they could parade it around St James’s at the end of the season. But after the pilot programme ‘I’m a Newcastle fan get me out of here!’ failed spectacularly to gain a nomination, it looks odds on for a quiet night for the deeply annoying duo.
Anyhow you’re lucky, only having to fork out £8 to watch this dross, the rest of us have to stump up large wads of dosh in May, and our souls at birth, so please don’t go for the sympathy vote of a poverty stricken reporter. If you are after a pay rise it’s probably better to go for promotion, but this may involve getting some pictures of your boss in a compromising position, in a Spanish bordello with an octopus. HTL.
Commulus is right Luke. You didn't look too upset to be watching it on telly when I picked your Missus up to take her to the game. If you're after some brownie points, why not go halves on her ticket for next season?
If it is a pay rise you're after, may I suggest a National paper where you can write what you like about Fat Fred and not have to worry about your bosses running around trying to appease our old pal Jabba!!
What did you make of the Sven Goran Eriksson link earlier this week?
I wouldn't mind if he was manager, he'd be a lot better than Roeder. Nice guy I'm sure, but his record as a manager is awful and his tactics have been far from inspiring.
He also paid, when we are told money was at a premimum in the summer, £10m for Obafemi Martins and then stupidly insisted that he was always his first choice signing! Doesn't look clever now, especially when he kept insisting he would not gamble in the transfer market like former managers.
Give Luque a chance on Thursday night.