The Best Stadium In The Universe
My word, wonders will never cease, after seven years of computer generated artist impressions, arguments, delays, pleading with bank managers, promises and broken promises - oh and almost £800m, the "new" Wembley Stadium is almost finished.
Well blow me down with a feather, let's get the ticker tape out and declare a national holiday to celebrate the fact a highly-expensive, long overdue, English construction project is almost finished. Whoop de doo!
The thing I can't understand is, why did we give the contract to an Australian firm called Multiplex? Aussies are only good for bar work. If you want something built you look for Polish builders, they're quick, efficient and they would surely have given the FA a better price!
The worst thing is, like a builder who left you without running water for more than a week while he fitted a new kitchen, I bet the FA still expect a pat on the back now that the job is almost complete.
Never mind the fact that no date has been given for its completion so that next year's FA Cup Final is still pencilled in for Cardiff, never mind the extortionate cost of the work and never mind the fact ordinary fans will still struggle to get tickets for games because of the number of corporate seats in the new stadium.
No, let's puff our chests out and prepare ourselves to be told over and over again, that the "home of football" has the "best football stadium in the world", no the Galaxy, no probably the Universe.
In fact, if Aliens ever look at Earth they will take one look at the "new" Wembley and head back to Planet Zog - it remains unclear if Charles N'Zogbia is from this planet - safe in the knowledge that a race that can construct such a mighty stadium could never be conquered.
Of course, this will inevitably not be true of the England football team that plays there.
I'm greatly looking forward to a steady procession of wide-eyed foreign visitors coming to Wembley to humiliate us, starting with the Germans and then the Poles, who will not only win, they will also laugh at how much we paid to get the stadium built.
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Luke Edwards - is Chief Sports Writer of The Journal and uses his blog to give a unique and entertaining insight into events at Newcastle United and Sunderland.
The Biggest problem with Wembley stadium is its location in Wembley, bloody awful place Its just too far away, it should have been built in the centre of the country somewhere like Gateshead.
England games full of Cockneys again - great!