Steve Harmison has apologised to Australian captain Ricky Ponting for the bouncer in the First Test of last summer's magnificent Ashes series which split his cheek open.
A nice gesture, but I wouldn't have bothered, just as I won't bother commenting on Freddie Shepherd's waffle yesterday about loving Geordies and his childhood spent fighting his way into school in Byker and fighting his way out again. All fantastic qualities for the boardroom of course!
No, if I was Harmy I'd have spent my time with the press suggesting that, when the Ashes start in a couple of weeks, I'd be looking to hit an even more painful area of Ponting's anatomy.
The Aussies don't want to be our friends, they want to pummel the Pommies, grind us into their dusty earth in a vague effort to boost their national self esteem. This is no time to be nice to them. Then it hit me like a rising bouncer to the chin.
Perhaps this is all part of the plan. The Australians think we're too soft, they think they'll be able to unsettle us with their witty sledging - verbal abuse of opposition sportsman not sliding down a snowy hill on a cheap plastic tray - and they think they'll be celebrating with that stupidly small urn again after a series whitewash.
That's it Steve, you lull them into a false sense of security and then aim for their heads again when the action finally gets underway. Just please don't bowl a wide with your first ball because that isn't the way to set the tone for the series, drawing blood is.
Ponting has laughably tried to claim this week that the pressure is on the English this winter. You keep telling yourself that.
Erm, no Ponty, I think you'll find that we have the Ashes. If you remember it was you're lot who returned home to national outcry 18 months ago after we gave you a bit of a pasting last summer. The pressure is very much on your shoulders.
If you fail to regain the urn on home soil you'll be probably be banished to the outback to live the rest of your days with an Aborginal tribe. After all, nobody wants to be known as the Australian captain who lost the Ashes twice do they?
No pressure Ricky, no pressure at all. Just the prospect of having your wonderful playing career completely ruined by the humiliation of another Ashes defeat.
- Post to:
del.icio.us
Digg
Newsvine
Nowpublic
Reddit
« Previous | Home | Next »