The Name Is Shearer, Alan Shearer
He sneaked into the building undetected, sensibly dressed in the perfect night camouflage of a black top and dark jeans, carefully avoiding eye contact with anyone who might blow his cover as he spotted an empty seat and slid into it, beckoning his attractive female companion to join him.
After years of practice, such stealth came naturally, a crucial skill in a world of unwanted attention. And, then, suddenly disaster, his cover was blown, a cry went up, a finger was pointed... it’s Alan Shearer!
Shearer looked up, confused. “How could my cover have been blown?� he (possibly) asked himself, as he smiled sheepishly at the staring crowd. And then it hit him, it was all Steve Harper and his bright stripy tops fault!
Did you know that Newcastle United’s former - and greatly missed - captain is a massive James Bond fan? Nope, neither did I, but he is and, like me, decided Tuesday night, after the initial crowds had thinned, would be the perfect time to see the new movie Casino Royale.
Accompanied by his wife and close - but not very careful - friend Harper, Shearer is used to the finger pointing and staring and was utterly unfazed as he perfectly timed his entry to within a few seconds of the film starting. You see, arrive late equals arrive undetected, at least it would if Harps hadn’t blown things for him!
As fate would have it, I bumped into Alan and Steve after the film, rather embarrassingly as I (increasingly frantically) searched for my car by randomly pressing my alarm key in the hope of hearing it unlock.
I’d actually parked it on the other level to the one I found myself on, which can’t have done much for my reputation! How can I comment on football when I can’t even remember where I’ve parked my car?
Anyway, unlike Roy Keane, Alan is capable of a bit of small talk and, according to United's top goalscorer Casino Royale was “excellent, really good fun� and Daniel Craig “is an excellent Bond� who Shearer “liked a lot.�
Jonathan Ross eat your heart out. Forget Match of the Day, the man should be lined up for Film 2007 because that was the perfect, albeit, unflowerly, assessment of the film.
Alan is also “keeping well� and “enjoying a break from it all.� Having delivered a couple of public dressing downs to me in the past for things I’d written or questions I’d asked, he even had the politeness to ask after my own health.
I politely informed him I was “good� before shaking hands and slinking off to find my car!
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Luke Edwards - is Chief Sports Writer of The Journal and uses his blog to give a unique and entertaining insight into events at Newcastle United and Sunderland.
Come on Luke, things in real life don't happen that way, your just making it up.
p.s. I once nearly bumped into Dennis Norden in West Hampstead but thats another tale!
Note From Luke
True story, I swear and your sarcastic tone does not do you justice!
You say you were looking for your car, but secretly, I reckon you were stalking him and used the lost car gag as a perfect foil.
Didn't you tell him, as you've told the rest of the world, about your operation? He was utterly stunned when I told him you had been in hospital...
Hi Luke,
THought I would pass on a story on Big Al who came down to Sydney to run an Umbro coaching clinic in October. The day was a very hot 37 degrees and the kids full on but to his credit Alsn stayed on afterwards for an hour and a half to speak with each of the kids then spent another half hour saying hi to the parents!
He has left with an even greater reputation than when he came.
Thanks Alan
Cheers
Mike