Could someone please remind me exactly why Zara Phillips was voted BBC Sports Personality of the Year?
Look, I've got over my prejudices about lazy, minor members of the ruling class winning a popular vote and I even admitted that, as a world champion, Her Royal Highness, deserved to be recognised for her achievements in a sport which, unlike cricket for example, has a truly global following.
It's just I haven't heard or read anything from Zara since she bumbled her way through an acceptance speech.
Maybe it's because she's a Royal and the nasty media will ask her tricky questions like - Do you work? What are William and Harry really like? Did you cry when Princess Diana died? And, Is it true that horses resemble their owners (or should that be the other way round!)
But no, nothing, diddly squat, Michael Jackson has done more interviews than Zara recently and he's about as keen on the media as ice skaters are on thin ice and global warming.
Believe it or not, I'd like to know about how she did it, the emotions she went through, her plans for the future, that sort of thing. I'd even be vaguely keen to know whether her mother Princess Anne - another former BBC winner - was her inspiration.
Then again, I haven't seen a copy of Tatler Magazine lying around on the Metro recently and I don't think Horse and Hounds is delivered to Newcastle Chronicle and Journal, so maybe I've just been looking in the wrong places for an insight into Zara's world.
Mind you, I bet she will spill the beans when Hello Magazine come calling armed with a cheque book for a 52 page bumper lifestyle piece with her, boyfriend Mike Tindall and her lovely horses. All glossy, warm pictures with soundbites like, "I love horses" and "We love curling up on the sofa to watch a romantic movie" They all do, don't they?
If Hello are reading - you never know - I'll let you into my house to take some pictures for £100.
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