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Luke Edwards is Chief Sports Writer of The Journal and uses his blog to give a unique and entertaining insight into events at Newcastle United and Sunderland.

As well as football, Luke also regularly takes a wry look at the biggest sports stories from across the North-East and beyond. From cricket to rugby and basketball to boxing, some are criticised and some are praised.

Sometimes provocative, sometimes laugh-aloud funny, but always interesting Luke Who's Talking also gives you the chance to interact with Luke and have your say on all the major sporting issues.

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The Exorcist

Posted by Luke on December 14, 2006 11:11 AM | 

This is just getting stupid now, 15 players out, over-worked and surely stressed medical staff and a manager who cracks bad jokes about it being easier to name the players who are fit than those that are injured.

Newcastle's injury list is starting to look as long as a chocoholic's shopping list on a visit to the Cadbury's factory and it's all down to evil spirits - probably.

Charles N'Zogbia is the latest to feel the wrath of the St James's Park demons, medial ligament damage picked up in the 1-0 defeat at Chelsea that will keep him out for as long as three months.

Antoine Sibierski is also struggling with a bruised Achilles tendon, although reports that he has blinded a Chelsea player with the glare of the floodlights on top of his shiny head have proven to be false.

Roeder does not like the word curse, but I'm going to be brave and I'm going to use it.It's a curse, a bad spell, an ancient evil which holds the club in it's bony, scrawny palm.

An evil witch - or a disgruntled Gypsy - has cursed Newcastle United and something needs to be done about it. As the Ghostbusters and the priest in the Exorcist are merely fictional Hollywood characters it's up to us to delve into the black arts.

It probably has something to do with the fact people were hanged on the site of the Gallowgate stand in centuries gone by. You just can't expect to build a football stadium on a public execution site and not provoke supernatural payback.

It might be risky, I might even make things worse but I am experienced in these matters - well I typed Excorcism and England into Google and had a look at what turned up - so here goes.

"Spirit of trauma out you go. In the name of Jesus out you go. By the power of God, by the stripes of Nazareth...."

There, let's see if that does anything.... Nothing yet.......these things take time....I wonder if Ruud Gullit has still got that number for a witch doctor!

As for the Chelsea game, more encouraging signs, particularly from a young back four who helped frustrate the reigning champions until the 74th minute.

But a defeat is a defeat, albeit an expected one and Roeder's injury-ravaged squad will benefit from the return of captain Scott Parker and England international Kieron Dyer this weekend.

It's another must-win game against Watford, but given the upturn in performances in recent weeks, a win looks likely.

Right, I'm off to continue my studies as a Deliverence Minister, I will rid this place of this ancient evil.

Cue rolling clap and thunder and smoke as I exit stage left with a swish of my magic cloak.

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Comments (1)

Commulus wrote...

Eerily uncanny, I had just written something on the mis-direction of media analysis and you come up with the perfect example. The problems of injuries are exasperated by the smallness of the squad, and with every subsequent injury there, is more likelihood of injury to those who remain, the problem is Shepherds lack of planning and using the clubs resources to purchase 'trophy signings' at the expense of team building. Sorry I don’t buy the 'bad luck demons thing', having seen Most Haunted, Yvette Fielding remains the scariest thing in it!

Posted by: Commulus  | December 14, 2006 12:22 PM

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