In the black and white corner - or mauve and blue - is the Salford scrapper Nicky Butt, former England international and heavyweight Premiership contender. In the white and blue corner is the French fairy Pascal Chimbonda, the deserter of Wigan and World Cup waster. Ding Ding Round One.
With my serious journalists hat on I should take the moral high ground and condemn the disgraceful scenes at White Hart Lane, the terrible violence and the awful example it set for the youth of today.
Premiership footballers are role models and they should not be fighting and neither should they be caught clearly on television cameras screaming obscenities at each other. Tut tut, hang your heads in shame!
However, with my serious journalist hat cast aside - it never fitted me on this site - I say go on boys, get stuck in. Are you going to stand for that Butty? Are you? Are You? He just slapped you, like a girl admittedly, but it was a slap....to your face!
That's it Nicky, you get yourself after him, throw off James Milner's comforting arm and hit him with a volley of verbal abuse for good measure and get after the Frenchie with the braids in his hair. Look, he's waiting for you in the tunnel. Way hay, fight, fight, fight!
In all seriousness, what Butt did at White Hart Lane was not ideal and probably should not be celebrated. The pair of them could have been sent off and you shouldn't be fighting on a football pitch, no matter the provocation, as he, at 31, should know.
Yet Butt's behaviour symbolised Newcastle's fighting spirit against Swaggering Spurs in a game they should have lost. It also spiced up a clash which probably didn't need any spicing up after a wonderful first half example of breathless, all action Premiership football.
Butt is one of Newcastle's most experienced players and he is also one of its midfield enforcers. This is a guy who was brought up - at least in a football sense - by Roy Keane and that means you always stick up for a teammate on the pitch, which is precisely what Butt was doing to Shay Given, who had already clashed with Chimbonda seconds before half-time.
What followed was "ugly" to the purists, I'm sure, but for those who like to see their footballers caring about their team and their teammates while "wearing their hearts on their sleeves" ( I have absolutely no idea what that phrase actually means) Butt's antics stir the soul.
There was a time when we all questioned Butt's stomach for the fight at Newcastle following his abdication from the trophy-winning Empire at Manchester United, but nobody can question him this season. Watching his raging bull impersonation on Sunday afternoon, it is clear that Nicky Butt has a fire burning in his belly again.
As for the game, it was a classic won, not by Butt, but by a player who had arguably been Newcastle's worst for the most of the game - Obafemi Martins.
The Nigerian had never looked like getting a goal for 72 frustrating minutes, but his equalising strike was a peach, an unstoppable shot which few actually saw in the air - Paul Robinson certainly didn’t - it was hit with such ferocity. Surely that idiot is not the best England have to offer by the way, big pie eating lump.
That, though, is what you get for £10m, explosive match winning ability. Alright, so that isn’t a given, look at Albert Luque, but you know what I mean.
A few seconds later, the Nigerian international was laying on the pass for Butt to score the winner and Tottenham, who had looked certain to take all three points for most of the afternoon, were heading to defeat. It was all Martins did for 90 minutes, but who cares....
A special mention, though, should also go to the Tottenham fan who ran for the tube at Seven Sisters, got his foot caught in the closing door and tumbled head first into the opposite side of the carriage. Three unexpected away points - valuable Tottenham fan making an idiot of himself after painful home defeat - priceless.
Oh, and if anyone is interested Orient drew 2-2 in their London derby with Brentford and I had a major sense of humour failure when the West London scum equalised in the last minute of injury time.
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