According to Glenn Roeder, he would rather “go to war� with kids. According to Freddie Shepherd the kids have a “burning passion to wear the black and white shirt.�
Firstly, I wouldn’t want to go to war with kids. That is morally dubious and unlikely to be successful. I’d rather go to war with a state-of-the-art army, air-force and navy, ideally backed up by some secret laser weapon which zaps people from space. Secondly, I don’t think anyone would be willing to set themselves alight just to wear a black and white shirt.
Oh, I get it, Newcastle’s manager and chairman are talking about how well the club’s young players have done this season. War, obviously being a common analogy drawn in football - in the trenches, aerial bombardment, attacking forays, the list is endless - and “burning passion� is presumably a metaphor for those who feel strongly about things.
Well, they are right, the “kids� - strictly speaking anyone over the age of 18 is an adult - have done very well this season, helping to dig the club out of a crisis while proving that, after years of under-achievement, the Newcastle Academy can spot talent and develop them into Premiership players.
For the ÂŁ10m it cost to sign Obafemi Martins, Newcastle established their Academy. It does not take a mathematical genius to work out which is the better business.
However, as is my normal occupation, I would like to put things into context if I may because, if Newcastle believe the kids will be good enough to win silverware this season - and surely this is the objective at St James’s Park - they are mistaken.
Look, I know Alan Hansen was wrong when he said Manchester United would not win anything with kids ten years ago, but does anyone actually believe that Newcastle will win the FA or Uefa Cups this season with their current defence?
I will be bold and brave and declare that they won’t. If that means I am forced to dance naked in the Bigg Market when Scott Parker lifts the Uefa Cup after Paul Huntington has scored the winner against Seville, then so be it. I will, for one time only, be thrilled to have been proven wrong.
Huntington, Steven Taylor, David Edgar and Peter Ramage have done superbly in difficult circumstances and they and Roeder will, in the long term, benefit enormously for the first team experience they have gained this season. But please don’t make the mistake of believing they provide an instant solution to the problems in the squad.
I know I keep repeating myself like a drunken uncle at a wedding, but Newcastle need a left back, a centre back and a striker to give the squad the strength it needs to compete with the teams that will lift trophies at the end of the season.
The main reason why the youngsters have got their chance this season in the first place is that United went into it without the necessary strength in depth to cope with injuries to senior players.
Just because the youngsters have done well in recent weeks - the results against Manchester United and Tottenham were fantastic given the circumstances - that should not be allowed to smudge the real picture.
Just a thought and if Hansen can still work for the BBC after his blunder a decade ago, I’ll take my chances by predicting the same for Newcastle this season.
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