It’s true, absence does make the heart grow fonder. During these cold, frosty nights of snow, ice and chillingly bad England performances, I’ve found myself pining for a warm duvet, a comfortable bed and Sven Goran Eriksson - although I should add not together!
That shiny bald head, the Swedish charm, the sex scandals, the heavily-accented English, the Ikea-style silver-rimmed glasses, the unflappable nature in press conferences, 4-4-2 formations, oh Sven, come back all is forgiven - you’re still being paid by the Football Association after all!
Do I feel sorry for Steve McClaren as the vultures circle over head after England’s 1-0 home defeat to Spain?
It’s never nice to think of vultures circling over somebody that’s still alive, they do that to sick and weak animals in the Sahara desert, but it’s difficult to feel sorry for someone who has made smugness an art form during his managerial career.
That toothy grin, that over-enthusiastic laugh, the shiny rosy face, the ridiculous comb over, the farcical positive-thinking which attempts to turn 5-0 defeats into small victories, nope it’s quite easy to enjoy seeing the former Middlesbrough manager squirm in his chair.
Yet, I take no pleasure in seeing the national side lumbering around so ineffectually and it, if honest, fills me with a strange sense of dread when I contemplate the possibility that England will not qualify for the European Championships next year.
Does anyone remember the summer of 1994 when England didn’t go to the World Cup? It was awful. We were all forced to pretend we liked Ireland.
There was no skiving off work to watch matches, no street parties, no convenient excuse for all day drinking sessions, no hugging of strangers in pubs, no ridiculously over-hyped build ups, no special newspaper pull outs, no flags attached to cars (erm, actually that might not be such a bad thing), no, the summer of 2008 will be a desolate and depressing one if England aren’t in the European Championships.
So with that in mind, I hope McClaren does turn things around or, in an ideal world, gets a point against Israel next month and then decides to quit because he can’t handle the heat, allowing someone else to come in and steer us safely to Switzerland.
And one final point, how over-rated is Frank Lampard? He gives the ball away, he can’t dribble, he slows play down and he can’s play alongside the superior Steven Gerrard. When Owen Hargreaves is fit, it’s about time we gave the Chelsea Teletubbie the boot.
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