There are those of you out there in internet land who can't look beyond the footballing highs and lows of your football club and I sympathise I do, when Newcastle are struggling and Sunderland have a promotion to worry about, it's understandable.
But, regardless of what is happening at the Stadium of Light and St James’s Park this week - very little is the correct answer - I’ve spent the last few days getting hot and bothered about England.
It’s partly to do with results and performances and it has plenty to do with Steve “worst comb over since Sven Goran Eriksson) McClaren, but, believe it or not, he is not the main target for my bile.
In fact, I can get everything I want to say about McClaren off my chest very easily - useless, out-of-his depth coach who was part of the problem under Eriksson. No, I reserve my full vitriolic rant for Frank “I won’t bother passing I’ll just shoot� Lampard.
Is there a more over-rated player anywhere? Second best player in the world behind Ronaldinho last year according to someone, but he isn’t creative, he isn’t destructive, he isn’t skilful, he isn’t fast and he isn’t good in the air!
What he is good at doing is scoring goals, 20 so far this season for Chelsea in all competitions, so he gets lots of headlines and talks a lot about how wonderful he is.
But when he isn’t scoring goals, Lampard is useless. He doesn’t drive a team forward and he doesn’t shore them up at the back. He just waddles around, looking to shoot whenever he gets within 30 yards of goal, passes the ball sideways, or whacks it straight out of play.
Sweet mother of Mary, the guy is a liability. Does anyone remember England’s World quarter final defeat to Portugal? Yes, well, do you remember, just seconds before Wayne “over-rated� Rooney got sent off for stamping on someone’s testicles, Lampard’s embarrassing air kick? England’s best chance of the game, fluffed by the goal-scoring midfielder whose place in the team is justified because he scores goals?
Diabolical and the idiot was given the responsibility of taking penalties. Except he keeps missing them, but he still takes them because, guess what, he’s Frank Lampard and he scores goals.
The guy hasn’t had a good performance for England since Euro 2004, but has he been dropped/rested/shot in that time? No because he’s Frank Lampard and he scores goals. Instead of being dropped, Frank is a fixture in the centre of midfield, pushing the far superior Steven Gerrard out to the wing while he struts about like a peacock in the middle.
No wonder Rooney tried to take the matter into his own hands this week by blasting a ball at the Chelsea man. Good old Wayne, he might not be able to hit a barn door in games at the moment, but his shot found it’s target, broke Frank’s wrist and the country breathed a huge sigh of relief.
But, hang on a minute, what is this? Lampard will still be playing against Andorra with a protective cast on his hand. Even with a broken wrist, McClaren hasn’t got the guts to drop the guy! Incredible.
Wait a minute, stop the press, Lampard ruled out of game against Andorra because of broken wrist! Hurrah, my faith in humanity/football has been restored!
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