My word, Big Sam hasn't even signed a contract at Newcastle and, as far as we know, he hasn't even agreed to come to St James's Park yet, but already the big lad is facing a few problems.
To coin a phrase used by others in the media, it is the "worst kept secret in football" that Allardyce is going to succeed Glenn Roeder as United manager.
But even before he has got his feet under the table, before he has unwrapped his new blue tooth headset and before he has given the usual new manager's press conference about unlocking the potential at one of the biggest clubs in the country, Allardyce has some transfer speculation to deal with.
Oh and surprise, surprise, it centres on Michael Owen and fans' favourite Kieron Dyer. Apparently, Owen is off to Manchester United - not heard that one before - and Allardyce will sacrifice Dyer to raise funds for a major rebuilding project.
Alright, calm down, the season hasn't even finished yet. At least give Michael the chance to go away to play for England before you start linking him with a move to the Premiership champions. He hasn't even scored a goal yet, although Watford might make convenient opposition on Sunday to sort that out. Then we can have, lots of back to his best stories etc etc...
Nope, you want to do it already, before the new manager has arrived and just 24 hours after Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson said he had three main targets this summer. Oh well, may as well start the "transfer saga of the summer" early I suppose. Maybe Newcastle will respond by trying to sign Wayne Rooney! Oh yes, that's right, we've been there already haven't we.
Oh and there has also been the mention of the get out clause in the speculation, you know the one that Freddie Shepherd has always denied exists in Owen's contract. This time, though, it has fallen from £12m to £9m. Phew, I'm exhausted already.
Right, okay Micky, £110k clicks, Little Mo or whatever your nickname is these days. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for the time being. You should just be concentrating on your football, regaining match sharpness and your England place for the vital Euro 2008 qualifier against the mighty Estonia.
But then, before you go away on your summer holiday, can you please let us know what your plans are? Just a hint that you will be at St James's Park next season, or whether you've had enough already.
Do you feel a moral obligation to Newcastle and their supporters for the money you have earned while injured? Or is your career too short to waste outside a top four club challenging for silverware at home and abroad? If you want to tell me that in an exclusive interview, great, but a press conference will do!
As for Dyer, well I've been saying for ages (well two weeks almost) that Tottenham want him, Newcastle's supporters don't and that tends to equal summer transfer. Unless Big Sam wants to keep him of course. Should probably wait until he has arrived to ask him though don't you think?!
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