I’m not even going to mention his name, nope if you want more speculation about groins, hernias, operations and recovery times for you know who, you had better look elsewhere because I’m not going to let another injury to - thou shall not say his name - spoil a thoroughly enjoyable victory for Newcastle at the weekend.
The rest of the country can worry about that little chap’s injury and whether he will be fit enough to play for England in some game or other next month because, for once, I’m going to be happy with what I’ve seen this weekend because hammering the Hammers is something that should be savoured.
After the debacle at Derby, Sam Allardyce needed a result which hinted at bigger and better things, something that not only brought three more points, but a performance that suggested his side were not only functional, but also capable of a little flair and finesse.
I’ve got to be honest, I had one of my “gut feelings� on Sunday morning and it had nothing to do with the chicken kebab I’d polished off on Saturday night! It wasn’t good, I felt a West Ham victory in the depths of my intestines, but, fortunately, it turned out it was just trapped wind! Nothing an early goal and loud belch couldn’t solve.
So apart from what’s his face’s groin strain, there are plenty of reasons to be upbeat if you’re a Newcastle fan. I’m sure most of you have already forgotten about that disaster at Derby! I know West Ham had a pretty decent first half and Steve Harper made a couple of good saves, but can we just be positive for a change....perhaps....possibly, a 3-1 win is a 3-1 win and it could have been more.
The most obvious would be Charles N’Zogbia’s magnificent display at left back and, later on, on the left of midfield. I accused the young Frenchman of spending too much looking at his own digestive system last season, but the manner in which he has turned things round under Allardyce is highly impressive.
Apparently Geremi has also had a lot to do with it, but, whoever is responsible for getting him to play again, Newcastle now have one of the most exciting young talents in the Premier League who has the flexibility to play in any position on the left flank.
If Mark Viduka grabbed the headlines and was the obvious target for some typically dour analysis from the Sky Television pundits, the Australian was still over-shadowed by his young teammate. And to think, the lad had become so disillusioned under Glenn Roeder that he was willing to sign for Fulham! Blimey, he’s not even from Northern Ireland!
If Jose Enrique turns out to be as good at left back as everyone in Spain seems to think he is, then Allardyce will eventually be able to push N’Zogbia further forward and hey presto, suddenly the team has that creative spark in midfield I’ve been banging on about. Happy days.
As for Viduka, he might be a little over-weight, he might well lack mobility and pace and he might well be Australian, but he can certainly score goals. His first-half header from N’Zogbia’s cross was magnificent and the second was, well, an interesting take on the tap in - should probably be shin in - finish.
I’d also, for once, like to praise Alan Smith. He clearly isn’t a right winger, I still doubt whether he scores enough goals to be considered a top striker and I doubt he will even be in the team when Joey Barton is fit, but he did a commendable job for the team on Sunday and he deserves plenty of praise for that. He was full of running, he never hid from the ball and he did lots of tracking back. Not particularly eye-catching, but a valuable contribution nonetheless.
So, the Magpies are up to fifth, they’ve lost one game all season, the team has indicated that it can play decent attacking football and there is a nice easy trip to Arsenal in the Carling Cup to look forward to.
I should probably own up. As most of you know, I'm a Leyton Orient fan, who were thrashed 4-2 by Hartlepool on Saturday - our first league defeat of the season. Orient's local rivals, when we were half decent at least, are West Ham. Now you'll understand why I was so happy Newcastle beat them!
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