Bored of Eng-ger-land? Bored of international football? Bored of Ian Wright talking in barely comprehensible English about his son Shaun Wright-Phillips? Bored of Steve McClaren's red face and crimes against hair? Well fret not because normal Premier League service will soon be resumed.
And I'm going to do a very brave thing, perhaps it is a foolish thing, perhaps it is a divine intervention, perhaps I can see into the future, perhaps it will just put the kiss of death on both teams, but I'm predicting wins for both Newcastle and Sunderland this weekend.
Well, Sunderland at home to Reading at least because those lovely television people have decided it is a good idea to move United's trip to Derby County to a Monday evening which is just so convenient for those fans who will travel from the North-East and then hope to go to work on Tuesday morning isn't it?
But hey, who cares, Ted in Eastbourne can sit in his Ikea armchair, eating his Tesco's Finest Shepherd's pie after driving home to his three-bedroom semi-detached house in his Ford Mondeo to pat his uber-stressed wife Jill on the bottom before sinking a can of Carling C2 lager, can watch the match from the comfort of his own living room while his hoodie-clad 13-year-olds are out mugging people, filming it on their mobile phones and posting it up on YouTube. The wonders of modern British life!
It's a big game for Sunderland against the Royals. Having exceeded expectations last season, like Wigan before them, Reading are finding second-season syndrome (I borrowed this phrase from the world of music where countless bands release excellent debut albums, belatedly discover they are one trick ponies and then release a load of clap trap which sounds like a bunch of pissed arts students jamming in their digs after an all day acid trip!) rather more difficult.
The problem for teams like Wigan and Reading is that they lose the element of surprise, they are no longer a shock to Premier League teams and their rivals have had a whole year to identify their strengths to nullify them and their weaknesses to exploit them.
Sunderland would love to have a season like Reading's on their return to the top flight, but they need to beat teams like this at home if they are going to stay up, let alone push for the top half of the table.
After the joy of victory to Spurs and the late equaliser at Brimingham, the Black Cats have been slapped in the face by the reality of the size of the task which lies ahead this season, a task not helped by the loss of captain Dean Whitehead to a knee injury for the rest of the season.
For what it's worth I'm predicting a 2-0 win with goals from Michael Chopra and Andy Cole. A result secured on Wearside but made on Tyneside. Hasn't something like that happened before?
Anyway, to Newcastle and Pride Park. Derby look totally ill-equipped to survive this season and were humiliated 6-0 at Anfield in their last league game so expect a lot of kicking, stubborn defending and running around from the Rams. Also, expect manager Billy Davies to be banished to the stands after his umpteenth row with a touchline official.
If Newcastle are going to challenge for a European place, they must win away against teams like Derby, something they have persistently failed to do through the years. Sam Allardyce's regime has hinted at plenty of positive changes so far this season, but this is another chance to prove it.
As for me, I'm off on another holiday (I promise it's the last one for a while) this time to Krakow in Poland to drink vodka, eat dumplings and visit the Second World War Concentration/Death Camp Auschwitz.
Can't say I'm looking forward to the latter and perhaps there is something a little ghoulish about visiting such a horrible place, but I feel it needs to be done. These things should not be forgotten.
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