Given the ills suffered by Newcastle United and Sunderland this week, a North-East derby is exactly what the doctor would have ordered if Sam Allardyce and Roy Keane had popped along to their local GP this morning.
Newcastle are floundering after back-to-back defeats, including a 4-1 home defeat to Portsmouth, have ruined much of the early-season optimism a solid start brought and rapidly drained whatever confidence Allardyce had built up during his first five months at the helm.
As for Sunderland, dreams of emulating the likes of Wigan and Reading in their first season back in the Premier League have quickly evaporated and Keane is beginning to lose patience with a group of players who have won just two games out of 12 this season. A battle against relegation looks the most likely course of their campaign.
There is no such thing as a miracle cure in medicine, despite what the bible may tell us about Jesus’ exploits, but win local bragging rights on Saturday and it will be amazing how quickly the mood lifts at the victorious club.
Who needs drugs when you’ve got a derby win to savour? What a rush, what a high, what a moment and how on earth did I end up in this lap dancing club at 3am in the morning? But enough of England cricket captain - and Black Cat fanatic - Paul Collingwood’s night out if Sunderland win!
The victorious manager will be assured of his place in the region’s football history and the players will actually be able to go out in town for the next week without being abused! The feel-good factor will instantly be salvaged and the rest of the year’s football fixtures can be looked forward to with renewed zeal
The flip side of this, of course, is lose the derby and the run up to Christmas is going to be a thoroughly miserable experience, the players will be crushed, the manager will be struggling to find any words of motivation and the supporters will feel like hibernating, forgetting Christmas and waking up sometime in 2008.
As most of you will know, I did not grow up in the North-East and I will not be tying my colours to any kind of mast Saturday lunchtime. I know Orient wear red and white, but this does not make me biased towards Sunderland and, although I live and work in Newcastle, I will not be praying for a Geordie victory before I tuck myself into bed with a cup of hot chocolate on Friday night. (Big game so now pre-match drinking session for me, I have assured my editor!)
I will be one of those really annoying people, while the rest of you draw blood in the tips of your fingers after completely biting your way completely through your nails, who hopes football is the winner!
On a serious note, I can’t remember a recent derby where the two teams appear to be so evenly matched. Newcastle will start as slight favourites for me, but Sunderland have a decent chance of securing their first derby win since a certain Niall Quinn headed them to a memorable triumph at St James’s Park back in 2000.
Certainly, this Sunderland side should offer a far stiffer challenge than the previous two derby clashes at the Stadium of Light. In fact, the Black Cats have been so bad during their two record lowest points campaigns that, I’d suggest, beating them hasn’t even been as much fun for Newcastle supporters as it should be.
Having said that, there will be some out there who just relish beating the Black Cats and, if they can embarrass them as well in the process, even better, just as there are some Sunderland fans who want nothing more from the season other than the opportunity to wipe the smug smiles off Newcastle faces with a derby win.
Whatever the extent of your feeling on the local rivalry, the Premier League, and certainly North-East football, is a more vibrant, passionate and exciting place when Sunderland and Newcastle are both in the top flight.
This is one of the great occasions in the region’s calendar, not just in terms of sport, but because everyone, even if they have no real interest in football, will be fascinated by what happens on Saturday because it has such a massive impact on the mood in both cities.
Regular readers will know that I fancy myself as a bit of a tipster, normally based on gut feelings, so I’m going to stick my neck out and make my derby prediction. As I’ve already said, this has nothing to do with an allegiance to either club, but I’m going to go for a 2-2 draw... and take the splinters out of my backside when I get home!
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