In my Journal match report I said it was about as attractive as Pat Butcher in fishnet stockings, but perhaps I should have thrown Dot Cotten in a G-string in there for good measure.
Newcastle's win against Fulham certainly wasn't pretty. It was one of those dire games which makes a mockery of those who bleat on about how the Premier League is the best league in the world, but, ultimately, who cares?
There will be some who complain about the lack of entertainment, but football isn't always like Pro Evolution Soccer or some other computer game you know. It is a results business in an entertainment industry, but when you have secured only your second away win and second clean sheet of the season, I think Sam Allardyce and his players have every right to feel pleased with themselves as they head towards Christmas.
It's not so long ago that some were suggesting Big Sam was heading for the Big Chop if Newcastle lost to Arsenal. That suggestion was always a little over the top if you ask me, but there is no question he was under pressure following an alarming slump, not just in results, but also performances.
Some of the displays, the 4-1 home defeat to Portsmouth, the 2-1 away defeat at Reading, the fortunate derby point against Sunderland and the embarrassment against Liverpool at St James's Park, were dreadful. I was certainly depressed and, as you know, I only really get upset when things go wrong for my beloved Leyton Orient.
But what we have seen since then, the rousing rally against Arsenal, the hard-fought win over Birmingham and the scrappy win at Fulham, is a team which has responded to the pressure with some fight and some spirit. Considering the cars they drive, the houses they live in, the clothes they wear and the women they have on their arms (and elsewhere I presume), it is the least we can expect to see, but sadly we don't always get that, even, do we?
I wonder, however, whether the "crisis" has actually helped Sam. Sometimes these little periods do. There has been a lot of soul searching done and the players have responded to the calls for "real men" to "stand up and be counted."
It would be interesting to know if there was anyone who said, "no actually, I'm not a real man, I'm half woman." so "no, I don't want to stand up and be counted, I'd like to sit down and be counted out if that's alright with everyone - who has nicked my make up bag?"
I think Sam has enjoyed building a siege mentality in the dressing room, a them against us view of the world. It is a tactic frequently used by his close pal - and some would say mentor - Sir Alex Ferguson at Manchester United and I think it's on page 47 of the Premier League manager's manual!
Personally, I'd like to see a little bit more class and quality in Newcastle's performance, but when confidence is low and results poor, you have to try and turn things around any and which way you can. Hopefully the Magpies have done that now and results like the Fulham one will, when we look back on the season, prove to be a pivotal moment.
Either that or yet another false dawn, but it's the season of goodwill and all day drinking so I'm going to be positive for a change!
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