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Luke Edwards is Chief Sports Writer of The Journal and uses his blog to give a unique and entertaining insight into events at Newcastle United and Sunderland.

As well as football, Luke also regularly takes a wry look at the biggest sports stories from across the North-East and beyond. From cricket to rugby and basketball to boxing, some are criticised and some are praised.

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Relegation Trouble

Posted by Luke on March 3, 2008 2:05 PM | 

Welcome to the North-East hotbed of football. Yeah right, three Premier League teams, three teams in the bottom half of the table and three teams in danger of being relegated. What a wonderful season this has turned out to be!

I had such high hopes back in August, didn't you? Sunderland had just been promoted on a wave of optimism under Roy Keane and Newcastle had got a highly-rated manager in Sam Allardyce and had finally seen the back of former chairman Freddie Shepherd. I'd just got back from a very enjoyable holiday to Majorca and, so I thought, there were plenty of good time ahead.

I wasn't too bothered about Middlesbrough, to be honest who outside of Teesside is, but I've always liked Gareth Southgate, who seems like a nice guy and Julio Arca is a player I enjoy watching, so even the Smoggies were in my good books.

However, with ten games left the only excitement we have is a potential relegation battle between the North East neighbours and the possibility that, whoever loses the Tyne-Wear derby at St James's Park next month, will crash head first into the Championship. Should make for a decent atmosphere at least!

I was at Derby County at the weekend and travelled to the Midlands confident the Wearsiders would beat the Premier League’s worst club and boost their safety bid to the tune of three valuable points.

I travelled back up the M1 believing the Black Cats are right back in the sssshhhhugar. (It’s a family show ladies and gentlemen and while most 10 year-olds know every swear word in the unofficial swear book that doesn’t mean I’m allowed to use such colourful language here. I’m sure you know what I mean.)

The hope that Sunderland might surprise people this season and "do a Reading,� finishing just outside of the European places had been crushed before the summer suntans had faded, but if there was one comfort for Newcastle fans at the weekend it was that their bitter rivals look in even more trouble.

The form book will show Sunderland have considerably out-performed the Magpies in 2008, but they have arguably the toughest run in of all the teams in the relegation picture and their next two home games come against Everton and Chelsea.

Roy Keane’s side have been almost totally reliant on results at the Stadium of Light to get them out of trouble this season but their only home game against a side in the bottom half of the table is Middlesbrough and they are also in need of the points after their shock defeat to Reading.

Sunderland continue to struggle to score goals and they aren’t creating much either. I still don’t think they will go down, but they will give their supporters an almighty scare before May.

As for Newcastle, from what I can gather it was a much better performance against Blackburn, although I also understand that Joey Barton was pretty dreadful again. Shock!

What was that? Alan Smith had a header on goal. Still 29 games and counting without a goal then Smithy, but at least you look like you care I suppose. What on earth is wrong with Mark Viduka? Oh, that’s right, it’s winter and he feels the cold. (look at his career history and see how many games he has missed during the winter months.)

However, improved performances don’t count in the table, although I wouldn’t be too upset by Owen’s missed chances. Easy for me to say I know, but he will score more often than not and it’s just good to see the team creating those sorts of opportunities again.

Alarmingly, however, with a trip to Liverpool next weekend and with the following game at Birmingham City (absolutely vital they don’t lose that one) on Monday night, Kevin Keegan’s side could travel to St Andrew’s already in the relegation zone. Scary thought huh?

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Comments (11)

Paul Patterson wrote...

Right that does it- I’m taking on all comers!!

Alan Smith isn’t a footballer and couldn’t hit water if he were standing on a boat, Barton’s allegedly hit more people in Liverpool city centre than the back of any football net in the UK, Luke’s fat and balding, Stanner Stair lifts offer great service and optimism to many O.A.P’s throughout the world and Prince Harry has been endangering his life in the hotbed that is Afghanistan.

OK, only a certain amount of that lot is true (I’m sure Luke will argue against a certain part of it- but the current Newcastle squad isn’t good enough to be in the Premier League- Smith, Barton Owen and now Owen are showing that they are either glorified show-ponies or just- well S**t.

Andy Carroll would be justified in shouting ‘I deserve a game’ if it weren’t for a name that isn’t of a higher profile.

Obafemi Martins needs to bang down Keegans door in the vain hope that he might actually get a game ahead of the goal dodger that is Alan Smith.
On Saturday is it any wonder we got beat when we played Alan Smith, a striker who hasn’t scored in three years and Joey Barton who hasn’t played a good game of football in about the same time.

Nicky Butt, who I like, is now showing his age, and Steven Taylor who is now looking jaded and tired, coupled with the fact that the confidence is very low, it’s remarkable were still in the league mathematically.

This squad needs a blitz, a complete overhaul in the summer, but for which league we are preparing it for is down to the bunch of waster we have at the moment.

Who do we blame for the mess?- I’m still banging on Freddy Shepherd's door- long term.

Paul.

Note From Luke
If being 6ft and 12 stone is fat then you must be anorexic Paul which wouldn't give you any hope of taking on all comers because you'd be too weak! So ha. The balding part, however, is very true though.
As for the rest, Shepherd yes, Smith rubbish, Barton worse, Butt old, Taylor over-rated, Martins, deserves a chance, Carroll not ready!

Posted by: Paul Patterson  | March 3, 2008 7:26 PM

jac mills wrote...

Luke

What can we say? You have covered it all admirably. Now go back to Majorca, forget NE football, tune up for the chess season, and write an essay for your readers on why they should go plodging right now in the North Sea and forget about NUFC, KK, MO, MV, MA and all the other alphabeticals associated with northeast football.

By the way, depending on your birth date in 1978, Luke, the Chinese have you pegged as either The Year of The Horse or The Year of The Reptile. So ponder that, and enjoy Majorca again. We will look forward to your return next season. This one is DONE!!!

Note From Luke
I'm not going to Majorca, I'm staying to the bitter end of this dreadful season and then I'm going to Sri Lanka and the Maldives on my honeymoon. I was born in April, so does that make me a Reptile or a Horse? I probably display a passing resemblance to both, although in what areas I'll leave to your imagination!

Posted by: jac mills  | March 3, 2008 10:18 PM

Snapper wrote...

Great article Luke, what frightens me is the number of times Viduka is "injured" in non game situations, he seems to sit morosely on the subs bench, then, the following week, he is injured. How? Then there is Carr, what can be said about him? A succession of Toon managers from Bobby Robson, seem to rate this man, Why? Any suggestions on the back of a stamp please. Owen is not playing with any conviction, the Blackburn game is a game we would have romped in times gone by, thinking of Beardsley and Shearer, neither whould have spurned the chances Owen did on Saturday. Lets hope we find the net soon, or the ignomy of the so called "Legend" Bernie Slavin heaping insults will be too much to bear.

Note From Luke
Don't get me started on Bernie Slaven.....

Posted by: Snapper  | March 4, 2008 9:35 AM

Snapper wrote...

Re Slavin, I am not one to report people particularly in regard to football which is obviously a game of opinions, however on my way home the other night I had the 3 "Legends" on and Slaven made a remark about not liking Geordies. I wrote to Century I got a reply but it was all platitudes and guff. I cannot stand the man. He is a scotsman who wasnt good enough for the jocks so he pulled out his "Grandfather was an Irishman" card.

Posted by: Snapper  | March 4, 2008 12:18 PM

Paul Patterson wrote...

I wonder if he were asked the question, would Freddy Shepherd apologise for putting the club in this mess through terrible financial and regular club miss-management?

I’m betting he wouldn’t.

In your Journal piece today, you stated that Alan Smith is urging his team-mates ‘to prove their spirit as well as their ability’ well that’s all well and good, but I’m not sure there is much spirit and ability there to prove?

When Michael Owen's best shooting boots are in the boot room being cleaned on Saturdays at 3pm, like they were against Blackburn, then you know your in for a rough 90 minutes.

It’s been a longstanding thought among many, that without Alan Shearer and Shay Given, Newcastle United are going to struggle- well that has been proved very correct, with Shay’s recent injury problems.

Shola Ameobi is another who has been chucked by the wayside (Not before time either) but I would certainly take a goal or two from him in the coming weeks- wouldn’t it be funny if a he came back in and scored a goal in a couple of games, when it’s took Alan Smith 29 and not hit anything.

Joey Barton the player, just simply isn’t up to it, Nicky Butt’s legs have finally caught up with him and now looks pedestrian, whilst Mark Viduka has also reverted to type and cried off for the winter.

There are many jokes to be levelled at the strike force- Scoring in brothels with diamond encrusted genitals and not hitting water if standing on a boat just two we’ve heard over and over and over and over and over.

But the performance against Blackburn was a distinct improvement- play like that against Birmingham, Fulham, Reading AND Sunderland and five points WILL be achieved simple as that, you can’t play like that for five games and NOT get reward- FACT.

And back to that overweight clown that left us in July- I wonder what he thinks now, when he made that decision to sack Sir Bobby Robson for the outrageous behaviour and down right criminal final placing of 5th in 2004? How dare the man?!

PS:-

I must apologise for the fat remark but certainly not the balding- I was annoyed! But that’s just the way things go- and congratulations on the future honeymoon- although if your resembling a horse or a reptile in ANY areas, she must love you for your bank balance then.

Paul.

Note From Luke
Contrary to popular opinion, journalists don't earn a lot of money!

Posted by: Paul Patterson  | March 4, 2008 12:40 PM

jac mills wrote...

Luke

Well done, Sir, you are a Horse! Same as me. Some great and wonderful people are Horses, and I know we'll get a comment or two pointing out the part of the Horse's anatomy which most resembles.

You should enjoy Sri Lanka and The Maldvies. Wonderful places if you include more than the obvious tourist spots. SL (I still think of it as Ceylon)is stunning. If you saw a movie called The Bridge on The River Kwai you will have seen a little of the magnificent scenery of Ceylon, substituted in the movie for Thailand. One of my Jesuit teachers in England spent most of his life in Ceylon and chose to go back there to die.

As for your forthcoming marriage, another well done, and congratulations. If I were closer, I would pass the hat to the likes of Paul and Snapper and the boys to maybe get you some sun screen, which you will need in SL.

I'll always look forward to reading your columns, and being in spirit with NUFC and the area.

Oh yes, football. You'll see some on your trip -- if you have time! Now back to work.

Note From Luke
Thanks very much Jac

Posted by: jac mills  | March 4, 2008 1:08 PM

TimB wrote...

Off subject to a degree, but can someone please tell Steven Taylor to stop whining about his contract at utterly tasteless, tactless and thoroughly inopportune moments and perhaps concentrate his mind/efforts on saving the 'club he loves' rather than trying to feather his nest?

I was quick to defend him a while ago on these pages as I do think he deserves to be rewarded to some degree and should at least be given a bit more cash to bring him closer to the idiotic wages Toon are currently paying to players who are far less talented, less committed and less effective than Taylor.

However, is it really the right time for him to wander off into the media and moan about this again? Pick your moment more wisely Stevie...it's not all about you, son!

Note From Luke
Couldn't agree with you more Tim. In fact, if I had more time today I was going to write a blog saying pretty much the same thing. We'll see how quickly I get everything else done today but yes young Taylor wants to a) realise he still has plenty of improvments to make and b) stop being greedy c) learn to shut his mouth d) that he's not as good as he thinks he is

Posted by: TimB  | March 4, 2008 1:34 PM

jay wrote...

Taylor hasn't been great this year! Think if Faye had pace he would be fantastic.Enrique played well against blackburn, must be hard for him, young,away from home and not being given much of a chance!think he'll a starter next year when hs english is better and he's more settled! Also ver impressed with Beye!just need a top centre back to slot in with those 3! Gotta commend harpers loyalty but can't wait to see Forster get a chance! 6"4 and been to a few reserve games, he's looked a player!

Posted by: jay  | March 4, 2008 2:44 PM

nervous wrote...

It's squeaky bum time.
Newcastle have to play 6 of their remaining games away from home.

Note From Luke
I just hope nobody leaves a nasty mess in their trousers!

Posted by: nervous  | March 5, 2008 3:25 PM

Anonymous wrote...

Hi luke congratulations on your forthcoming nuptials, yes its sqeaky bum time for the lads. To roys credit he hasn't complained about the amount of points the officials have cost us this season ( I make it nine) but how we could do with those points now!

Ha way lads you can do it (especially with a fit Carlos please god)

Note From Luke
You certainly could do with those points. You suspect the relegation picture could be decided by such pieces of luck in the next few weeks.

Posted by: Anonymous  | March 6, 2008 10:52 AM

maria wrote...

hi Luke that post was from me I didn't mean to be anonymous sorry.

I think it would be harsh on the club,
Nial(and his consortium) and the fans if those points count against us.

PS Have you got any lucky pants or anything?

Note From Luke
It's funny you should say that as I do have some lucky pants! They date back to my University days although I'd rather not reveal why! Sadly, they don't fit anymore so I won't be able to wear them to any games, Sunderland or Newcastle

Posted by: maria  | March 6, 2008 12:29 PM

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