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Luke Edwards is Chief Sports Writer of The Journal and uses his blog to give a unique and entertaining insight into events at Newcastle United and Sunderland.

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Why Aren't Newcastle Funny Anymore?

Posted by Luke on April 15, 2008 12:45 PM | 

We know it’s been a favourite hobby of the bitter ex-pros, the self-publicising pundits, the dubious experts and the obvious charlatans this season to have a swipe at Newcastle United.

Oh yes, we know the club has been an easy target at times, parting company with managers almost as quickly as Paris Hilton goes through boyfriends, sliding towards relegation, new owners blah de blah de blah.

Yep, Newcastle United are like an old and over-used national joke where everybody knows the punch line - they haven’t won diddly squat since 1969 - but they still laugh anyway.

Well, have you noticed that, since Newcastle started winning under Kevin Keegan people don’t see to be laughing anymore? In fact, they seem to have lost interest in events at St James’s Park. Blimey, I’ve not read a Mike Ashley is going to sell the club story for at least a fortnight! Come to think of it, I’m sure nobody has even mentioned the presence of Dennis Wise for at least a few days!

The news has moved on, you see. The knockers, the snipers and the amateur comedians have found other targets because a quietly focused and moderately successful Newcastle United isn’t really an interesting story outside of the North East.

You may get a little annoyed by that. You may find it irritating that certain sections of the media are only interested in Newcastle when it is a bad story or when there is a bit of scandal to get their vampire-like teeth sunk into - but don’t let it wind you up.

At least that is the stance I always try to take. However, I have to admit I was spluttering into my night cap and threatening to kick somebody’s teeth - metaphorically speaking - in as I watched the BBC’s Inside Sport last night.

I’m normally a big fan of the show, despite the irritating smugness of all three presenters, but I could not believe what I was hearing as I sat in bed with a glass of fine white wine - a birthday present from my wine-bore brother.

I like Steve Bunce - I used to appear on his radio show on Radio Five Live the Rumour Mill - but he has fallen into the herd mentality of the media pack.

Now I can clearly remember Steve and Inside Sport jumping on the bandwagon to criticise and, at times, openly attack the appointment of Kevin Keegan as manager back in January. “Ludicrous� they said, stupid grins spreading across their faces as they patronised the club’s supporters for believing he was the right man for the job.

But it’s amazing what a few wins can do isn’t it. As I’ve mentioned, the news has moved on and last night it was the Chelsea manager, Avram Grant's, turn for ridicule.

Apparently Grant is going to be slaughtered by the press if Chelsea don’t win the title and none of the three on the show thought he would be in a job next season because - wait for it - what everyone wanted at Chelsea was a charismatic manager who plays exciting football, can relate to the fans and can get the best out of his players.

In other words, according to Bunce, what Chelsea are after is a “Kevin Keegan� Sometimes words fail me when it comes to summing up the hypocrisy of these people!

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Comments (16)

Paul Patterson wrote...

Luke, seen as my verbal volley at your (Suspect?) 30 years of age, didn’t go down too well in your last blog, let me put the record straight and wish you a (Belated) Happy Birthday for last weekend. If you want it to be thirty, then lets call it thirty.

The knockers (Ooh er missus?) have had a field day with Newcastle United over the past few years and the Mickey Mouse tag has certainly fell quite rightly on the club many times- But not on it’s fans.

I disagreed with the appointments of Dalglish, Gullit Roeder and Allardyce but thought the exact same- lets give them a chance, but the telling thing was they all got a fans welcome, even Dalglish got fans mobbing him when he was unveiled, the same cannot be said for one Graeme Souness.

I remember Dreadlocked wigs selling out within minutes for Alan Shearer’s best mate being appointed, but I don’t remember tins of Scotch Broth in short supply, when Sour Puss was sheepishly made manager by Freddy Shepherd- by the end of his reign, they were probably ready to be chucked at him.

I’ve said before, the one thing you get with Kevin, is trust, above all else. You know he will do the very best for the club.

‘Excuse me Kevin, I’m going to pay £10m for Albert Luque, Gary Speed’s got to go and I want you gone at the end of the season mate’ I don’t think Kevin would stand for that, but Souness let Shepherd buy Luque when he didn’t want him and even Sir Bobby allowed Speed to be sold and Shepherd to announce that he would be going in 12 months, so the joke has always been in the boardroom until now.

The media know what goes on in boardrooms and dressing rooms and training pitches and nightclubs and private houses, so they report it, but I can’t imagine many scandals under Kevin Keegan can you?

I can’t envisage Welshmen swinging chairs in airports or two players re-acting the ‘Rumble in the Jungle’ ON THE PITCH, nor can I see Mike Ashley and Chris Mort being taped in a hotel saying ‘Geordie women are dogs’ and that Michael Owen is like ’Mary Poppins’ can you?

On the subject of the football, I can’t see Portsmouth scoring three goals in eleven minutes at St James’ Park, or our manager being happy and ecstatic at getting a draw at Stoke.

I notice also that one of the first things to be jettisoned was those stupid blue-tooth headsets, sported by Sam Allardyce and Nigel Pearson and that Kevin Keegan doesn’t sit in the stands for the first half an hour after consulting his statisticians for how many times the ball flew into the box from our own centre back.

He always claimed to be able to get players fit and physically sharper, did Sam Allardyce, yet I‘ve heard players saying they are fitter now and enjoy training more. ‘I’m a top man in my field’ he said, well personally Sam, you belong in a field, because you’ve scared a few magpies away. Scientific football will always be beaten by entertaining football in the long run and Sam Allardyce was and probably still is too arrogant to admit it.

We’ve had to rewind 12 years to go forward and be entertained again- will we win a trophy? Who knows?

But it’s going to be a damn sight more fun finding out.

Paul.

Note From Luke
I think that's the idea at least anyway

Posted by: Paul Patterson  | April 15, 2008 7:38 PM

Mike Fraser wrote...

Hi Luke,

Hypocrisy no doubt! But lets not be surprised the TV pundits aren't going to focus on too much fact they want some controversy and the more the better.

The problem caused is that they are perception leaders as if its on TV it must be right. So they can determine the future especially where long term plans aren't in place and/or where the public reaction demands change.

According to media KK's future has been under review until the team started winning - plainly idiotic but with our history not impossible to imagine, so a shred of truth and you can influence the outcome.

Cheers
Mike

Note From Luke
I think sections of the media were desperate for Newcastle to fail and the others just followed them like sheep.

Posted by: Mike Fraser  | April 16, 2008 5:05 AM

Charles wrote...

Yes Luke, Newcastle has indeed been criticized, rolled over, stomped and kicked. It always seemed Newcastle has already won a trophy, trophy for ridicule, trophy for best circus impressions, trophy for best magazine jokes ever, and the ever important trophy for best 'scapegoat' since the Nazis started persecuting jews.

Not just Tyne, everywhere around the earth has one. I'd just gone to Malaysia a few months ago when Big Sam was still manager and watched the telly there and guess what? Pundits talking about Newcastle...my Malaysian friend told me it was rare that Newcastle was the talking point as the big teams hog all spots, but then I came to realize it was best not to have one at all, the pundits were criticizing Newcastle from flesh to bone.

Then came KK, the experts football "pro's" started saying, 'Newcastle has done a big mistake here' and 'I seen managers that made emotional returns but sacked within twelve months'.

Well, shows how Newcastle had spotlights...Look at newspapers around the world and if there is anything, ANYTHING regarding Newcastle at all, it will never be praising them, always controversies...Even when Liverpool were having their problems, Gerrard said , "We dont want to be another Newcastle." What is this? Some kind of sick joke?

We, as Newcastle fans always have the right to laugh at losing oppositions because they were busy laughing at us in and off field. Not easy being a black and white fan, you start laughters from strangers by just claiming, 'I support Newcastle United'

Amazing Avram Grant got only a few glimpse...Chelsea better sack that fool before they fall and crumble even with the billions backing them...I bet no matter how bad their troubles are, the press results shall never cross Newcastle United's...that's another trophy in the bucket...

Posted by: Charles  | April 16, 2008 7:13 AM

JC wrote...

Excellent blog Luke. I like so many other fans was sick of the snide comments about someone who is supposedly tactically naive, too passionate, a quitter. Slowly but surely KK is beginning to stuff those words down their throats. With some backing from Ashley this summer, I genuinely believe that Necastle will challenge for the top 6. I just hope Keegan can pick up a trophy this time, if there is one manager in world football who deserves it, then surely it is Keegan. In a Premiership that seems to be more focussed on keeping clean sheets than scoring goals, he is a breath of fresh air.

Note From Luke
The question is, if you really asked a Chelsea fan whether they would want Keegan as manager they's say no. Ask them whether they would rather have two league titles in the bag or play attractive football, they say the titles. I'm not disagreeing with you, it would be wonderful if Keegan lifted a trophy, it's just the ones you wish would get something often don't.

Posted by: JC  | April 16, 2008 8:23 AM

Little Lord Fauntleroy wrote...

The word you're looking for is IDIOTS.

It'll upset them even more if we eventually win something. I just hope it's not the League Cup because they'll all be able to belittle that success. I would love to see them all be served a generous portion of humble pie.

Note From Luke
Wouldn't we all Little Lord Font! I'd happily serve the a fist surprise for desert.

Posted by: Little Lord Fauntleroy  | April 16, 2008 9:20 AM

DARREN Unwin wrote...

couldn't agree more. bruce can mascaraed as a posh geordie who loves the geordie public and hold his high hopes to one day lead the toon out onto the pitch as manager of St james park, but the truth is that he will never be regarded as one of our favorite sons and that seems like its a bitter pill to swallow.

also...
i was rather disgruntled by paul Merson on soccer saturday last week because he actually brought up the topic of dennis wise and whether or not he was gonna drive Keegan out of the club what a load of rubbish.... another southern charlatan. the program went straight off after he started saying that. these people obviously feel like they need to fabricate stories to keep themselves in jobs in the media. but they are only kidding themselves.

Posted by: DARREN Unwin  | April 16, 2008 10:10 AM

Stuart wrote...

I'm wondering if you have been in Newcastle too long Luke. Much of the ridicule was well deserved and the early form of the team under Keegan was at least as bad as under Big Sam.

Think you might be in danger of over-reacting yourself to NUFC's recent form. Agree they have done well, especially the win over Spurs but with the squad they have they should be nowhere near the relegation zone. Think KK still has a lot to prove.

These nasty media people are always after a story you know and they will stab anyone in the back to get it. Very dodgy profession if you ask me.

Note From Luke
Oh yes, trsut me, I'm not adverse to plunging a knife into someone's back. I've also sold ym grandmother for a few stories as well! I'm not sure I've over-reacted to anything, it's just been rather enjoyable to be writing about wins and encouraging performances for a change rather than a constant run of defeats. Three wins and a draw doesn;t make a season, but at least there are some encouraging signs for the future at last.

Posted by: Stuart  | April 16, 2008 10:18 AM

Ronnie Lambert wrote...

What? I would have chucked my glass of fine brown ale through the screen if I'd seen that. Un be-flippin-lievable, but predictable from a tattie like Bunce. Even his boxing commentary is full of contradictions, reminiscent of that old woman Reg Gutteridge on ITV.

Note From Luke
Yeah you tell him.

Posted by: Ronnie Lambert  | April 16, 2008 11:02 AM

Steve wrote...

I watched the same show and similarly choked at the mention that Chelsea need a "Keegan-like manager". And like-wise I understand how sickeningly hypocritical the media are.

I'm just waiting to read Greavsie's next column in the The Sun after his spat at Newcastle. Bet he has nothing more to say on his little issue with Northerners.

Note From Luke
I can't believe they are still rolling him out after all these years. He was a clown when he was on ITV and has probably deteriorated since then as well!

Posted by: Steve  | April 16, 2008 11:05 AM

jac mills wrote...

Luke

The guys who write and spew all the stuff that calls for wine in bed are your colleagues in journalism. As we know, many are lazy and merely embellish for a living. And as you know only too well, getting a good story is hard work most of the time, and presenting it fresh and accurately even more challenging. On the other hand, there may be some justification for lambasting Newcastle: The lazy ones expect better, and that, my friend, is the best backhanded compliment they can offer. Trouble is, some of them don't even know that!!!!

Posted by: jac mills  | April 16, 2008 12:01 PM

Paul Venn wrote...

Happy Birthday Luke,

Life in the UK moved on dramatically in the last 15 years but unfortunately Newcastle Utd plc did not. Football is big business and business survives on reputation yet our Chairman lurched from PR disaster to PR disaster. Who was advising him?? Is there a Head of PR/Communications at the club?

Ashley & Mort may not be football men but they know business and for me that is the biggest change since they took over - KK coming back was just icing on the cake.

Note From Luke
There is a head of PR at Newcastle, but the problem with Shepherd is that he did so much talking without speaking to the experts first. What was that about thinking before you open your big fat gob!?

Posted by: Paul Venn  | April 16, 2008 1:34 PM

RAY WILSON wrote...

Hi Luke -and a belated happy birthday to you. I live on the Wirral just across the Mersey and for years the local Merseyside press have had a go at Newcastle- I cant understand the poison at times that is actually written most times anyway it is seething with inacuracies-but always truly with venom. I have asked myself many times why we are so disliked and cannot come up with anything that can warrant such continuous condemnation. I live and work amidst many Liverpool and Everton supporters and to be fair they are sometimes puzzled by these comments. I do not think it will go away easily -but I do think KKs ability ,persona and good publicity skills will be an advantage in helping to redeem our image.I feel so full of confidence since Kevin returned -not only have we got a team playing football again -we might just raise a few eyebrows next season. I just hope MA and CM give Kevin all the support he needs-we the fans will always support him-and I am certain he will repay that support big time. At least we wont be signing any more misfits -Long live the King.

Note From Luke
I'm not sure why they are so critical in Liverpool Ray but I know exactly what you mean. Jealous perhaps?
As for Keegan helping Newcastle's image, I think you're right, even Roy Keane was waxing lyrical about him today.

Posted by: RAY WILSON  | April 16, 2008 8:37 PM

Philwood wrote...

Good blog Luke, I was thinking the other day how there never seems to be anything about Newcastle in the papers anymore. When Newcastle weren't winning everybody I knew was ridiculing the club and saying how deluded we were and we never should have got rid of Allardyce. I used to respond to this by asking if they would like Allardyce to manage their club, not many said yes. The other comments were that Keegan was a joke and Newcastle is a circus. I for one cannot understand the criticism Keegan gets and belive he is due alot more respect throughout the football world than he gets. Tactically naive they say, won the old 2nd division with three different clubs, broke records along the way playing some of the most exciting football this country has ever seen, took a club 12 points clear of Manchester Utd in the title race. How can you do those things if your tactically naive?? I certainly haven't seen Allardyce, Curbishley, Moyes, Hughes do anything resembling that or any other British manager for that matter. This tactically naievity comes from the fact the man resigned from England when he had obviously lost the enthusiasm. Unlike the ginger prince the man wlked away rather than hanging on when the task was so obviously beyond him, surely that deserves some respect. Keegan is a man who is honest, cares about a club, adventurous and try's to play the game the correct way. For that we and him were labelled a joke and a circus for appointing him. All gone quiet now though eh!!!

Note From Luke
The silence is deafening. However, it won't last. First hint of a problem and they'll be back predicting imminent doom.

Posted by: Philwood  | April 17, 2008 6:13 AM

Snapper wrote...

Darren stole my thunder by mentioning that Merson on Sky Sports on Saturday said "I (Merson) dont know what role Wise has", "does he pull the strings? or does Keegan"? If its Wise, he said, I cant see Keegan standing for that. Why should Merson comment at all on somthing he dos'nt have a clue about? At times the closet Monkeys fan Jeff Stelling infuriates me, he is ex North East so he should stifle people like Merson aiming uncalled for comments like this. The ex-scouser Phil Thompson cut Merson off to some extent by saying there was no reason to think that Keegan was'nt pulling the strings. Thompson also said that in his opinion with 4 or 5 good signings there was no reason why we should not be in a good position next season. I somethimes wonder it I am being too sensitive in rising to the bait by theses so-called experts.

Posted by: Snapper  | April 17, 2008 7:37 AM

Michael Hall wrote...

I find it quite amusing that a Journal er, journalist would accuse others in the trade of hypocrisy. I'm not saying that your wrong in this instance (you are very much right) but isn't it a tad rich coming from yourselves? You and your sister paper spent the better part of a decade refusing to print anything that could be construde as critical of Freddie's regime. Now it's open season with comments like "What was that about thinking before you open your big fat gob!?".
Perhaps if your paper had the bottle to speak out against the Freddie regime when it mattered we might have actually got shot of the joker a lot earlier, and we may be in a better position that we currently are.

Note From Luke
Oh dear Michael, you have well and truly rattled my cage. I was banned twice by Freddie for criticising him and was on the verge of being given a life ban last season for daring to do so again. We never got on and I was never his puppet, but politics deemed we had to toe the line to a certain extent. The Journal - within reason - was consistently criticial of the way the club was run and were always willing to point out his mistakes. Certainly I was. We didn't exactly call for a revolution or for open revolt, but sometimes you have to be more subtle than that. If you look back on past blog entries on this site, for example, you will see that I was probably his most vocal critic among the North-East press so, while I sympathise with the point you're trying to make, I resent the fact you have directed it at me.

Posted by: Michael Hall  | April 17, 2008 9:46 AM

Paul Patterson wrote...

Luke, Just to break off tangent, I have to say I’m very happy and we haven’t beaten Sunderland yet.

For today news has been announced that the abomination that is Ian Wright, is leaving BBC’s Match of the Day for Talksport, stating that he is sick of being ‘Light Relief’ between Alan Shearer and Alan Hansen.

He went on to say that he felt he was there to ‘Break the ice’ between the pair and that he was assuming the role of ‘Comedy Jester’ far too often for his liking.

‘Comedy Jester’? ‘Scuse me Ian, I don’t here anyone laughing, people have no reason to laugh at a stupid child who’s had his rattle taken away, who fidgets around in his seat, can’t sit still, because he’s too busy jumping up and down and looking out of the glass window at the match, while the two ‘Jackets’ talk football. Only perking up and calming down when his son Shaun Wright Phillips gets a mention.

He was good footballer, if slightly annoying, and now he’s took that onto his job as a pundit when his ideal position should be in a crèche.

He goes on- ‘Times are changing’ Yes Ian, now your leaving it’s for the better, and that ‘I don’t know how long young people are going to sit down and watch that old jacket, shirt and tie format’ Well Ian, I don’t think kids are that bothered either way, after all, once the match has been shown, they tend to only watch the replays and then watch the next round of action.

Oh and Match of the Day is on at 10:30pm, shouldn’t young people be in bed at that time, if Ian really means teenagers, then if they haven’t got the attention span to wait five minutes while the grown-ups- sorry ‘Jackets’ talk football, then they shouldn’t be allowed a Tv in their room and should get back to their X-Box’s, where they don’t have to listen to ‘Jackets’ and can actually control the action themselves.

He can buzz off to TalkSport and leave the old-fashioned adults to talk football without nursing the kid through a 90 minutes show.

He finishes by saying- ‘I just don’t think I can do that anymore’ and ‘The people want something different’

You got the last part right Ian- Spot on.

Paul.

Note From Luke
He's one of my brother's pals but yeah good riddance you over-exciteable, nonsense spouting child!

Posted by: Paul Patterson  | April 17, 2008 11:33 AM

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