Take Some Toilet Roll To Hull
With ten games left to play Newcastle United are only out of the bottom three on goal difference. Let's just say that again, in case you didn't quite catch it the first time, with ten games left to play, Newcastle United have the same number of points as teams in the relegation zone.
I know Newcastle have flirted with danger in the past - they came close to getting their fingers burnt last season when Kevin Keegan's second spell as manager failed to ignite immediately - but this is far too close to comfort.
To put it bluntly, if Newcastle lose at Hull City this weekend, they will almost certainly slip into the bottom three and the fear of relegation which has haunted the club all season may become paralysing.
I'm sure you get as tired as I do of hearing footballers and their managers talking about big games and massive tests, but nobody can possibly under-estimate the significance of the trip to the KC Stadium. It's do or die time for the millionaires in the black and white shirts.
Lose and Newcastle will be hurtling towards a disaster which could take a generation to recover from. Win and they will be able to breath a little easier again, hauling Hull back into the mire in the process, and possibly re-establishing a healthy gap between themselves and the others fighting for survival below them.
Then again, when you have won just one of your last 13 games in all competitions and when your manager is recuperating at home following major heart surgery, it doesn't look good does it?
I'm one of life's more optimistic souls, but this isn't so much squeeky bum time as reach for the toilet paper time because the mess has already been made . I just hope Newcastle's players have enough experience, quality and diacalm to get the club out of trouble.
Whatever you may or may not think about the Mike Ashley regime - and I know plenty of you are still opposed to his continued ownership of the club - the simple fact is relegation would be a catastrophe for everyone associated with the club from owner to fans, players to tea lady.
That is the bottom line. Yes there may well be a business plan in place for the Championship, but it will be nothing more than damage limitation, a desperate attempt to shore up the holes and prevent the club from sinking faster than the FTSE 100 index after another high street banks finds out it has invested billions in the figment of some shady businessman's imagination!
Ashley's regime needs to stay up to justify its business model, but the club needs to stay up to save itself from potential financial ruin.
Make no mistake, the rest of the country - not just Sunderland - would love it if Newcastle crashed into the Championship, they would revel in the humiliation of a big club just as they did when Leeds United toppled almost half a decade ago. It is a joke you must hope, Chris Hughton and the players ensure is never cracked.
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Luke Edwards - is Chief Sports Writer of The Journal and uses his blog to give a unique and entertaining insight into events at Newcastle United and Sunderland.
It's now official that despite being ever the optimist like yourself, Luke, I'm now seriously worried about the R-word.
To date, I've fully expected Newcastle to gradually pull themselves away to a point where there were seven or eight below us who would decide the bottom three between them, but Newcastle have a habit of failing to take golden opportunities to claw themselves out of the equation and to be honest I see it being no different on Saturday.
But that's the funny thing, we're so inconsistent that we could very well go and hammer Hull like we did at Tottenham last season - completely out of the blue and inexplicable.
I'd love it if that happened, but am certainly getting that sinking feeling. Particularly given that just about every result that could go against us has done exactly that in the last couple of weeks, right up to Blackburn's late winner last night.
I only hope that Owen & Martins are fit to start and last the majority of the game and that Jonas gets at their right hand side.
You're right Luke, we did flirt with relegation last year. I remember hearing the usual platitudes that we must concentrate on staying up and then make sure that this never happens again. Well what do you know? Here we are again in an even bigger mess. But hey, let's give Derek some time to get this thing right. Let's cut him some slack eh? After all, he has talked to the media now (I bet Simon Bird wasn't at that meeting). Whatever happens in the next 10 games, the future has already been settled. Give a new contract to Joe, give one to Shola, cram the academy with "promising" younsters (don't tell anyone that Fabio Zamblera has left), and tell the fans that things will be ok if we just stick it out for a few years. Yeah, I'll cut them some slack alright - from the comfort of my armchair.
Newcastle won't go down - the world just isn't that kind. Seriously though the Mags do have the "gift" of winning a game or too when least expected so I'm fully expecting them to pull something out of the bag if only just to cause me severe disappointment.
Stuart ... yet another SMB with nowt better to do.
If poor old Restless Native has a problem with it when people discuss things realistically I think she (or is it he?) needs to stop reading anything other than the official NUFC web site in order to keep cool. Restless has also labelled me a SMB for being honest, especially about Little Kev.
Restless I do happen to hope that the derby matches Toon play next season are not against Boro (which are not really true ones anyway).
My own small gripe with Luke is that he flogs ‘the we are a big club’ guff. The last trophy was won more that 50 years ago. The fairytale cup that teams did not really have to qualify for does not count (they got in after finishing about 13th nobody told Toon that the games were simply played as good will gestures to promote European unity).
But let’s get back to poor old Restless (she needs a better name and should probably move to Seattle), it is people like her who turn people off NUFC. With Leeds it was the combination of the team and the fringe elements of their supposed fans. Nobody hates the Toon team because they have never had enough success to become hated.
Vs. Hull will come down to discipline and who keeps the most players on the field and Brown's players have the edge in that. My bet is going on 1-1 but if it ends up as 9 against 10 or 11 they will win.
Hope Sleepless does not get in any lifts where the man asks "Going down?".
If you are optimistic I would hate to bump into a suicidal pessimist. The facts are simple lose to Hull & Spurs and we are gone beat them and we survive, no thanks to Kev the serial quitter and no thanks to the fans but maybe Ashley had something to do with it. Temper your life with reality it really works
Another incoherent dribble from the Mackem who thinks he should be presenting Film 2009.
My problem with you, Sebastian, and Stuart is that you don't "discuss things realistically". You spout ill-informed cak about a subject you know absolutelt nowt about. Criticising Keegan for NUFC's current predicament displays a complete ignorance of the facts.
You're both Mackems anyway, so I don't really give a toss what you think about my club. But I do wonder why you both spend so much of your time commenting on a club that you don't even follow. I do think that is incredibly SAD. Is it because SAFC really is so IRRELEVANT that it's not even interesting to its own fans? Why not save your infantile waffle for readers of the Echo?
We've played most of the season with a squad that was way too small thats essentialy MA fault and the reason KK is not here.. Has MA decided we would be better off in the championship where he can make more profit with a smaller wage bill and 45K bums on seats? hmmmm hard to believe anyone would be so stupid unless he really hated us or he really doesn't understand football -don't answer that..!
can we beat hull? of course we can! will we, why can't we.? we've had so many must win games this season its almost a don't mention it again situation but i think we can do it. we have to believe we can or we would be throwing the towel in...
Too good to go down, how many times have we heard that phrase. Hull City match was a three-pointer and we manage only one shot on target, by a defender !! Midfield is filled with no-pacer old-timers. Team choice was very poor, and we`ve seen Chris Hughton squads before...useless. Only salvation is that the three teams below us as equally as bad.