July 2009 Archives

There is an attractive way to celebrate your success and there is a bad way. Unfortunately for Newcastle United, as hard as I've tried to keep my sense of decorum over the weekend, I can't hold it in any longer.

Yes, that's right Alan Shearer, Jimmy Nail, Ant and Dec, Sting, Robson Green, Alan Oliver, Freddie Shepherd, Biffa Bacon, Lee Ryder and Geordies everywhere, your boys took one hell of a beating.

In fact, it wasn't so much a victory for Leyton Orient as a rout, a walkover, a stroll on the park. But hey, come on, chin up, it's only a pre-season friendly I'm sure the boys in the custard cream shirts would have put the record straight had it actually meant something!

I've seen my fair share of films on football hooligans and have even read a couple of books, but the idea of me taking part in a spot of football related violence is about as likely as Danny Dyer admitting he is as hard as a rotten plum.

But try telling that to Northumbria Police, who decided that was exactly what I look liked as I made my way to Amsterdam to cover Sunderland friendlies against Benfica and Atletico Madrid.

Alright, so I'm a little thin on top and have a shaved head and yes, I was wearing a hoodie - the fashion must have of any teenage gang member - and jeans at the airport, but I still didn't expect to be pulled aside by the boys in blue and stab vests as a suspected trouble maker.

I must admit it's a real shame Sunderland have failed in their attempt to sign Peter Crouch. Firstly because he is an excellent player and secondly because it means his girlfriend Abigal Clancy won't be seen at the Stadium of Light next season.

The players' wives and girlfriends, friends, parents and hangers on, sit directly next to the press box at the Stadium of Light and I must admit I was looking forward to seeing Miss Clancy on Wearside.

Oh well, you win some and you lose some and it is back to the drawing board for Steve Bruce who, I suspect, is finding it rather more difficult to sign top class players for Sunderland than he envisaged.

So what did I miss? Erm, absolutely nothing by the sound of things and I've had enough. It's not even interesting anymore, let alone funny. Newcastle United have been in turmoil before, of course they have, but this is starting to look terminal.

At £100m, we were told there was plenty of interest. At £100m we were told something would be announced in the next few days, by the end of the week, at the weekend, at the start of next week. Honest, it's close! Yeah right.

Like the rest of you, I'm sick and tired of this Newcastle United takeover. It has been protracted and damaging and the sooner it is finished and Alan Shearer is belatedly installed as manager the better.

In fact, I'm heading off on a week's holiday on Tuesday and if it hasn't been finalised by the time I return to civilisation after my little adventure in Eastern Europe I'm going to tear what little hair I have left out in a fit of petulant rage.

Either that or issue a bomb scare at the office of Seymour Pierce. Actually, sorry, no officer, that was just a bad joke. I would never dream of doing such a thing...although I do still have that brief case from Sunderland's 2018 bid launch!

The fact few Newcastle United fans are sorry to see the back of him speaks volumes for how his time at Newcastle United has come to be perceived, yet still Michael Owen has managed to emerge from the whole stinking mess smelling of roses.

If Owen, as expected, completes a free transfer move to Manchester United it will be one of the most remarkable pieces of transfer business since, erm, let me think, Newcastle signed him from Real Madrid for £16.5m four years ago.