Bad News About Crouch But No Need To Worry

I must admit I was shocked by the quality of the journalism, I suspect you didn't pay attention whilst getting your third at college. Dross

Of course Crouch didn't want to come. As you rightly point out ... Sunderland isn't London. And they can't offer European football. Correct on both counts.

What you didn't mention, however, it that it's also not even the biggest club in the North East.

Current predicaments (ahem) aside ... there's only one 'glamour' club in the North East as far as footballers are concerned, and they play in those other coloured stripes.

Like it or not my Mackem friends, Newcastle have rarely struggled to land 'big signings' because there's always been a certain cache associated with the club.

Sunderland is - to the majority of footballers and most people who don't live there - a backwater. Not a vibrant City with an increasingly cosmopolitan reputation.

Maybe Brucey's been away so long he forgot. Ah well. Learning now fatboy, aren't you? I do agree though, he'll unearth some hidden gems I'm sure.

Seems like despite the big dose of the reality of being a lower league team there are still Toon fans who persist in thinking they support a big club. But I guess they will still argue it from the depth of even lower divisions in coming seasons.

Nothing changes on the pitch either with Newcastle's idiot players involved in a brawl during a "friendly game"!

No wonder the media across the globe laughs at automatically at anything to do with NUFC.

Of course Luke is taking more interest in what happens at Sunderland than at clown park.

Typical Geordie,

You seem to be missing one thing...

Newcastle is next to Sunderland. Crouch turned us down because of where we are in the country. If Newcastle was THAT great a place to live, then surely he would have taken the money we have offered him and lived in Newcastle? You FOOL, He has just a less interest in you than he does with us.

The only thing Newcastle would have done differently is probably offer an extra 30k per week and not put a relegation wage reduction clause in his contract, because Newcastle are too big to go down aren't they?

I think you should concentrate on the woes of your club instead of trying to pick faults at a PROPERLY run club.

You stupid little person. Anyway I'm off to check when we play Man U and Liverpool this season, while I'm at it I might take a look and see when you're due down at Blackpool.

I'd get used to being down there because I can guarentee you won't be back int he Premiership for a long while.

Fair points Luke. I think for the time being at least we need to accept that we need to buy players just before they hit the big time and not once they have made it. These big time charlies only want to be seen in London, or at a push in Manchester or Liverpool. You mention Abi and i suspect that she is part of the reason for this - I mean she can't possibly carry on her modelling career in the north-east can she? Personally I'm not such a fan of Crouch - don't mind him but wouldn't have been so excited to get him and would worry that it would just encourage the sort of footbal that involves lumping the ball up to the big man. As for Restless' comments above doesn't it say everything about NUFC's plight that people like him can come on and make the sort of ridiculous statements he makes. Don't get me wrong Sunderland aren't the real deal yet and they are a long way from being so. However they are a lot closer than the cartoon army and are steadily heading in the right direction.

Personally Luke - I'm glad we didn't pay 12 million large ones for a 28 year old Peter Crouch - although I agree that it would have been chipper to have a glancey at Miss Clancy!! I think Bent would be a better signing. He's younger and if he finds his confidence he'll score more goals. As for Chamakh - he won't be on Wearside any time soon - he's trying to smoke out Arsene with cheap banter!! Restless Native should know - he's a shrink. Yes - you heard me right - that pompous pant dweller is employed in the field of psychology/psychiatry. The amount of time he spends trespassing Sunderland blogs and spitting his "sad mackemisms" and the repeated references to "chip on shoulder" indicates a lack of time spent in the field. I'm willing to bet his patients get barmier by the day due to the neglect of their Sunderland hating consultant. His priority is to attempt to belittle fans of a vastly superior club, motivated by geographic proximity!!

Doctor, allow me to correct you regarding Andy Reid, a friend of mine - if I may. Unlike Toon players, he can afford chips for breakfast, but as his new slimline physique indicates, he has been "enjoying" prunes for breakfast. Shortly afterwards, he sprints to the nearest outhouse (or Netty as I think they call it in the Pig and Whislte), armed with a copy of last years St James Park budget deficit. Inevitably the unstoppable belly laughing brings about an immediate expulsion of prune residue. It's a method that works well for Andy - and he's preparing to facilitate the same techniques for next years pre-season.

As for a retort - I can't say any more than Mark. Good shout son! However, you forgot about Scunthorpe and Doncaster - thrilling fixtures for the Restless one.

Fellow Sunderland fans - Restless Native enjoys using big or obscure words in tandem with his self righteously perceived greater intellect to patronise and provoke. For instance - this sentence - "Newcastle have rarely struggled to land 'big signings' because there's always been a certain cache associated with the club". For those of you that don't know the meaning of the word "cache" - it directly translates to "smell of rotting pilchards". Hope that helps.

"Newcastle get 53,000 and they are a pretty big club. Everybody thinks they are far bigger than Sunderland." - Niall Quinn

Extract from Lee's blog June 8th

"Restless Native said:
M. Sebastien T. and Stuart ... have you really got so little else going on in your lives that you regard commenting upon a football club you don't even support a valuable use of your time?

You put the 'S' in SMB"

Well well well Restless my sad little friend - it does appeare that you have changed your view on commenting on the business of other football clubs. I think you will find that Lee was writing about Sunderland above. He mentioned Newcastle only in passing to highlight that for some reason Frazier Campbell did not agree with you that "there's only one 'glamour' club in the North East as far as footballers are concerned" and signed for Sunderland over Newcastle.

As for your example of Villa being the biggest club in the Midlands. Bad example - they are only the biggest club because of where they have spent the last few years - in the prem. WBA and Birmingham are both decent clubs with pedigree and if Villa were to disappear into the Fizzy Pop league peoples views of the biggest club in that area could easily evolve. Any parallels for you there?

So Restless - you might feel that your infantile and offensive posts are amusing or in some way enhance your manhood. But it's pretty clear that all you are is a WUM. And something you have in common with the football club you support is that you are not very good at what you do.

Oops sorry Luke - schoolboy error. Too preoccupied with exposing Native's hypocrisy.

P.S. can you please do something about the stupid captcha system. Understand the need for it but it really is rubbish and as I'm sure you know is the reason for the multiple postings you receive. Native's posts are bad enough without having to see them twice.

Martin, Martin, Martin. At last you ask for my professional help. What a breakthrough moment we've just enjoyed.

My analysis? Very straighforward. Yours is a a classic case of a splintered personality caused, most probably, by childhood trauma. The resolution for you is to reintegrate that part of your own personality that you have, until now, detested and tried to deny.

Your repeated, unprovoked accusations of homosexuality - as if that in itself is a criticism - are the key here. Specifically: "I thrashed your bum"; and "... didn't you say you would never disclose what we did behind closed doors Hunney? I concede that you are right about your lipstick on a pig analogy - I recall putting two layers of heavy gloss onto your lips and you still looked (and squeeled) like a hog".

Analysis? Projection of self-loathing. Self-loathing caused, ultimately, by a denial of the self. Likely trigger point? We would need to explore. Hypothesis? Maybe your father smacked your bottom for being naughty when you were a child. Far from regarding this as punishment, you derived pleasure from the act, much to your own surprise and confusion. The angrier your father grew, the harder the blows became, and the more you enjoyed it. Eventually, at some point in this process, you arrived at the life changing conclusion that you are a homosexual man. I suspect, living in the North East with parental archetypes such as yours, this was a revelation you struggled to deal with, eventually burying it deep inside you.

Sadly, we can only deny the self so long before it finds a medium of expression. Yours? Homophobic vitriol directed at anyone who challenges your self-perception of your worth as a human being.

Please Martin, for your own good, be who you were meant to be. Wear that studded leather cap that you keep in your "special box" with pride. Like being a Sunderland fan, it's who you were born to be, and that's a beautiful thing.

Love and peace my Mackem friend. Please don't feel as though you have been hoisted by your own petard. Think of yourself as having been set free. Even if it was by an "arrogant Geordie git".

Restless - thank you for your retraction which is gratefully received. Thanks also for keeping it simple - I understood almost every word. It's always good to meet someone who is so flexible in his principles - a real guide to a mans character don't you think?

It becomes patently obvious when you have been "hurt". You resort to ridiculous personal attacks!! Is that the best you can do Doctor Sensitive?!! Whilst you were writing your last pile of steaming bunny poo I imagine you were hoping you were right!! It leaves me in no doubt as to who and what you are. Allow me to give you a clue. It starts with "W" and ends in the last name of the bloke that wrote "My Way".

Sorry ape, you're way off the mark. My father whacked me once and it stung so bad I never did it again!! I’m fairly sure that readers with an ounce of perception interpreted my comments in the way they were intended. To expose you for the self serving, pompous, vitriolic fool that you most certainly are. You deserve everything you get, however you interpret it!! It gives me innate pleasure to know that we have rattled your cage to the extent that you waste your time in your office psycoh-analysing blog comments!!!!!

Stuart nailed you mate, despite your transparent defence. You are a hypocrite – a "do as I say - not as I do" type - no matter how much you sugarcoat it. In me you have met in excess of your match and you have to resort to what you know best - Freud!!!!! Unbelievable!!! All you have in your closet to come back with, having been effortlessly defeated is “familiar jargon”. Wait a second though Doc. I am pretty sure that someone in your position is closely monitored with regards professionalism and codes of conduct. This smacks a little of professional misconduct - does it not? A contemptible abuse of position. An intentional compromise of ethical standards!!

You are a tick on my shoulder son. A sweepable light weight. Consider yourself sweeped. And always remember – “my club’s bigger than yours” – BAH – somebody get me a bucket!!!

It took you 5 days to come up with that 'effort'? Or were you getting your bag changed? Or maybe you thought waiting 5 days to respond would increase your chances of having the last word?

Well, if it means that much to you Mr Robson, you will be delighted to hear that I will not respond to the inevitable homophobic, sad, repetitive, illiterate ("psycoh" indeed), humourless drivel you will spout in response to this message.

I am bored out of my mind reading your inarticulate tripe.

Claim that as a victory. Go on. Loser.

RT Martin Robson. I think some of your comments are deeply offensive. Its' small minded people like you and Chris Moyles using the term gay as an insult that has set back the equality movement years. You have no idea the amount of prejudice gay people have to put ip with all the time. You should think before about what you say in future.

RT Martin Robson. It doesn't matter what your intention was what you said and are still saying is very offensive. How can you say that I have ruined the country when you don't even know me? How do you know I am not a soldier fighting for the future of this country? Gay people have had to fight for ages to get rid of some of the prejudice in this country just so they could lead normal lives without being attacked verbally and physcially every day of their lives. You are a very ignirant and offensive man. Nobody is laughing at you except in shame.

Jon,

Put it away man!!! You are being ridiculous!!! I am not prejudiced against gay people - I recently attended a gay wedding!!!! There's no way on this earth that either of them would misconstrue my intent!! So what is it about you?? You don't know me either. I said a throw-away comment as a joke. (I assume you're talking about the pig thing) - It was a joke mush - wake up and smell the coffee for Petes sake!!!!! You are overly sensitive and overly ananalytical. It's a trend - a trend that has made our country a laughing stock. If you read this again carefully you will realise that the "gay" jibes originate from the enemy!!

Anyway - Sunderland for the Champions League.

Hi Jon.

I assume that last post is from you? Not sure why you've used my 'handle'? As I said above, I've had my fill of this particular exchange, and I won't be responding further to Mr Robson's provocation.

Enjoying reading someone else having a go at talking sense in to him though - although it may be a futile cause - keep up the good work and best of luck!

Oh Native - you are an incorrigible rogue, aren't you!! Take a look at some of your "anti Sunderland" comments. Do you have any clue how offensive and patronising you can be? Drop the "holier than thou" rubbish – I am seriously about to throw up. Jon – if you are as sensitive as you appear, how do you interpret the comment “and naming your penis after me” after I posted my name as “Restless Native Basher” – oh oh – that sounds like a gay dig to me. Or are your skills of interpretation a little “selective”? What about his “studded leather cap” stereotype. What about his reference to “thrashing your bum” – he knows how I intended it, but he contrived and twisted it into a “gay” jibe – aimed at my good self. I am happy and content being heterosexual, so it bothers me not, but I think you should have a word in Native’s “shell like” if you are true to your stance. Native – you are the largest hypocrite I have ever encountered!! How many times have you pulled the gay card on me?? And you want me to apologise!!! In this instance I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous answer, as they say at the Old Bailey!

While we’re on the subject Dr Always Right, none of your comments have offended me – except when you mention my father – you’ve done it in this one – and much worse in the last one. If we’re playing the integrity card, my dad died two years ago of a progressively degenerative neurological condition Multi Systems Atrophy – or something similar – you know all about that – right? An undeserved cruel end to a great man. Yet because of a rivalry between football teams you proceed to lambast him, ignorant to his fate and that of my family. So you are hereby warned. You can analyze me all you want – I’m not saying any more.

One more time for the benefit of the gallactically sensitive. When you made the lipstick on the pig jibe – (not intended to offend of course – even though no gay overtones were present) you deserved the retort. But it was intended as a joke. If you can’t cope with that answer – hey ho. If you live by the sword - expect to die by it.

I am quite sure you’ll come back with an pseudo-intellectual monologue in the vain attempt to prove a point, but here’s the thing. I will NEVER succumb to political correctness, and I will never apologise for upsetting the upsettable. The consequences of PC to our previously great nation have been devastating. Native – you know I’m right – don’t you?

Here’s something worth while for you to ponder and debate, Doctor Perfect. If you truly are what you say you are – and I don’t disbelieve you, I would be interested to ascertain your mindset as regards the following. Incidentally – I would say the same to fellow Sunderland fans. I once went to an FA Cup final between Liverpool and Everton. Obviously there is rivalry between the teams – as usual because of geographic proximity. But the outstandingly noticeable aspect of the game was the harmony between the two sets of supporters. Blue mixed with red and vice versa. After the game I witnessed opposing supporters shaking hands and congratulating each other. It was universal, not isolated. That’s how it should be. Sunderland is in my soul – as I am sure Newcastle is in yours. Healthy rivalry and banter I can understand and even appreciate – but for the life of me I can’t understand the extreme viciousness. I can't understand why games have to be cancelled for fear of violence. It is warfare - why - because the cities are close together!!! Unlike you, I have never shimmied onto a Newcastle related blog and spat my poison. Why do you feel the need – as an alleged professional to stoop so low and get involved in the ridiculousness? My answers to you have been in retaliation – and because you are the most patronising person this side of Aintree.

Now – you have attempted to psycho-analyse me – falling way short of the mark with your “self loathing” theory. With your comments in mind, especially with reference to the “who has the bigger club” topic, I would be interested to observe an HONEST self-analysis. Try to avoid a “war and peace” explanation as to why Newcastle are the bigger club, and please refrain from showing off your diction and grammatical wizardry. I am interested to establish why you personally - especially given your status, choose to belittle and insult your neighbouring team. Don’t bore me with history, or individual expamples of hatred going the other way – I am well aware of that. I am talking about the psychology of it, and why you partake. We all live in the great North East - we're not that different, except for the colours red and black. I am going to hold onto my seat and wait for a reply. This should be interesting. PS I apologise in advance regarding any typos - I know how expectant you are regarding spelling miscakes!

Martin.

OK, you asked me to give you some honesty, so I will. Before I do though, I just want to say that I am sorry to hear that about your father.

So. I went to a school on Tyneside that had pupils from both Tyneside and Wearside. Our form classes were arranged based upon where we lived. Although I lived in North Tyneside, I ended up in a class with lads from South Tyneside and Sunderland. To this day, I have more Sunderland-supporting old school mates than old school mates who are Mags. My mates from my Uni days are from all over the UK and support a variety of teams. I have spent most of my working life away from the North East, and have worked with people from all over the UK and the globe.

The point of all that? I don't think I am a blinkered, narrow-minded person. I think I am generally understanding and tolerant of the views of others. Hand on heart, I would love to see NUFC, SAFC and Boro top 3 in the Premiership. Obviously in that order.

When Sunderland were relegated with the lowest Premiership points total, I didn't gloat. I actually remember texting one of my Mackem mates who was distraught and telling him I was sorry and that I hoped they'd bounce back. I cannot understand the mentality of Mags who want Sunderland to disappear as a club. I don't even understand those who want Sunderland in a lower division. I want Newcastle and Sunderland playing each other every year.

One of my footballing heroes is David Kelly. When he signed for Sunderland, he didn't stop being a hero. Sir Bobby Robson is one of the finest men alive. He watched Newcastle and Sunderland when was a lad, just because he loved football.

If all of that is true, what was the motivation for my comments? The psychology of it? Easy really. Boredom - I was completely sick of reading the same non-stories about Newcastle's protracted sale. Distraction - it's painful being a Newcastle fan at the moment, so stimulating a conversation about anything apart from our current situation is a welcome relief. Humour - I thought a bit of provicative banter would be funny. Payback - the amount of hate-fuelled stick Newcastle fans have been on the end of since we went down has been ridiculous, and as another hero of mine once wrote, "it hits you every day until you need to hit as well". I'm not proud of that last one.

And the reason violence exists? Because too many of our 'fans' - on both sides - are proud of that last one. Although psychologically it comes from a very negative, dark, insecure place.

Cheers Martin.

You've got the best Chairman and one of the best Managers in the country, so I'm sure you boys will have a better year than last.

God knows where we'll be in 12 months.

Anyway, all the best.