March 2010 Archives

Newcastle United are so close to the promotion they can probably already taste the victory champagne, although Chris Hughton will have something to say if he finds anyone has actually been necking a bottle of the fizzy stuff before the weekend's trip to Peterborough.

That is rather more than he is doing on the Andy Carroll-Steven Taylor "incident" but for once you can understand why. Nothing can get in the way of promotion, not even two warring teammates.

I've written countless times before about how I worry about Carroll's future, but as nice as it would be for some people to see Hughton to spill the beans, condemn someone and publicly humiliate them, it's not going to happen.

The County season normally starts at a deserted Lord's Cricket Ground under grey, rain-threatening skies so who can blame the MCC and the ECB for deciding a change was needed?

So off we've popped to Abu Dhabi where the annual curtain raiser between last year's Champions, Durham, and an invitational MCC select side is being played in front of even fewer fans in the middle of the desert.

Oh well, at least the sun is shining. Actually, come to think of it, it's shining a little too brightly and a little too hotly, we are English after all. Abu Barbeque would be a better name for it.

And it was all quiet on the Newcastle front, a relatively serene march towards the Premier League. Oh hang on, what was that, Andy Carroll has fractured Steven Taylor's jaw....... run for cover!

Nobody has confirmed or denied these reports, but their very existence is a problem. The Journal had wind of the story and so did everyone else, fractured jaws, damaged hands, training ground rows, but up came the shutters, up went the wall of silence, but still it came out.

This wasn't like trying to muffle a fart, this was like trying to say a bomb going off in the centre of town was just a routine training exercise.

I'm sorry I can't help it. After a week in which Sunderland have finally remembered they are a half decent side and are good enough to win the odd game of football, and Newcastle stumbled, but still took another big step towards a Premier League return, I've been distracted.

I've tried to resist the temptation and I've tried very hard not to get caught up in a national wave of hysterical optimism - I still have the scars from the last time - but I can't do it, it's impossible sometimes when England are concerned.

It's a World Cup year and already one player has managed to make sure he is the big story even before a ball has been kicked. His name is David Beckham and he was, once upon a time, an excellent footballer.

Dare I do it? Do I risk falling flat on my face into a big pile of rotten eggs? Yeah, alright, I will do. No point being safe and boring all the time is there!

Presuming Newcastle United go up - and we cannot presume anything at the moment despite that wonderful 6-1 thrashing of Barnsley at the weekend - how many members of this squad would you definitely keep in the Premier League?

Will England win the World Cup? I doubt it. Will we build ourselves up into a frenzy believing they can. Of course we will, that's the fun of fair.

Actually, England have a chance and when I say a chance I mean we have a better than some chance. Oh alright, I'll get into the spirit of things, we have a good chance even. As long as Wayne Rooney doesn't get injured.

England could be World Champions, but I'll actually take getting beyond the blooming quarter-finals for a change. That would be nice wouldn't it?

If Alan Smith owned a handbag - and I cannot say for certain that he doesn't - he would have hit Mike Williamson with it at Watford. To describe the altercation between them as a fight is like describing Great Britain as a heavyweight contender at the Winter Olympics.

However, the sight of two Newcastle players screaming at each other after conceding a goal in injury time in a comfortable away win is refreshing in its own way.

To coin one of Chris Hughton's favourite phrases - no not Re: - it shows this "group of lads" don't just care about what happens at Newcastle this season, they have professional pride in the way they do it.